Growing Up

RIGHT, I'm back again after yet another record-breakingly long absence. Apologies for the horrible infrequency in updates. There seems to be quite a pattern emerging in the recent posts regarding how they begins isn't there? Perhaps I should examine my blogging style today. The way we write is a reflection of our inner heart, which somehow manages to worm its way into everything we do. Indeed blogs are windows to the soul, and I am not much of an exception. Pseudo-intellectual stuff that when prepared are extensively rehearsed operas of the mind, yet never seeming quite as good when put down onscreen. Most of all, there seems to be an inherent habit in me to be unnaturally forced into writing things that are "politically correct"-ie, that do not convey the "wrong" idea. It seems to have happened to the extent that it has made me feel the need to watch myself in everything that I do, so that I don't accidentally "offend" someone. Such a mindset seems to have progressed to the extent that I feel like I've forgotten the "me" behind the mask that I feel compelled to put on everyday. Bah...annoying world it is sometimes. At this point in time the average blogger would then launch into a very draggy rant about how meaningless his/her existence is, all leading up to a climax that discusses how nice it feels when they slash their wrists. Ugh-how pathetic...not contemptibly pathetic, just pitifully pathetic that the search for one of life's basic philosophical questions-"who am I?"- can drive one such heights. There IS actually such a thing as thinking too much you know, considering that the answer isn't as essential to our existences as something like oxygen is. I'm past that stage already though. What remains for me is passive acceptance-it is pretty trivial stuff, by and large. Regardless, however, while it is probably true that knowledge is power, after one already actually KNOWS, it becomes impossible for him or her to slink back into that blissful state of ignorance before they didn't actually know. And we all know that there are many facts of this world that never seem to be as they should be.

It's this mindset which is behind the age restrictions on say pornographic things even though it's readily available on the net. Like people complained why there was all that fuss on censorship of the actress in Titanic-because they don't want kids to be privy of the knowledge of such malpractices. Similar reason why school is structured in such a way that everyone thinks that life is like a fairytale here everything is fair and nice and just and if you do good a fairy comes and blesses you with a happy ending with infinite riches or perhaps some form of significant other. Then hopefully people who come out will be like those fairies, and not like some horrible manic-psychotic who turns a gun on every one who offends him/her. Not an unreasonable assumption, considering how influential kids are-or even people at ages like this.

Indeed, grow up if you wish, but do so at your own peril, in the knowledge that you can never look back.

And yet after all this, "With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Strive to be happy." Why? Because amidst a field of endless white, the black spots always seem to have an annoying habit of being more prominent.

Probably the most incoherent post I've ever written when not under external influences. Apologies for producing such crap even after such a long time. Darn it, am going to blog more soon-considering that there isn't much revision to do nowadays, there isn't much else to do. Till then!