CosmosCorp

The Last of This Empire of the Stars?

2005-12-20T21:59:00.000Z

Yes I KNOW it's being an obscenely long time since I updated-so long, in fact, it's no doubt the cause why the link to this place has probably being dropped by a fair few people. What can I say, really, except that the fault is entirely mine. I've lost count of the posts I've intended to make, but not quite made in the end. Not that I've not had the time to write them either, but rather being just too darn lazy to get my ass off that chair and do it. Not that I've only just identified this problem either and haven't had a chance to do anything about it yet. Not that this is the first time I'm moaning here about the abysmal state of my blog either!!!

Both myself and this blog have fallen into a slump that I seem unable to get rid of, for somehow flown from my soul is the mad zest for life that burned in me after the O-levels. I seem to have caught the deadened spirit that pervades that pathetic excuse of a school I find myself in. I'm thankful my academic results haven't yet taken a severe hit though-AAAAAD in each of my Mock Result papers is actually not bad, considering the D is justifiable. It was for an English Lit paper, in which I ignored the question most people did, instead doing a question that, though still related to the text I studied, dealt with a completely different field. Another project undertaken in my spirit that as long as you're confident about them it's not about the grades until you step into that darn exam room-something I think alot of people in my school would do well to learn.

I am determined to revive this little Empire of the Stars one day...but in the meantime, enjoy this little story, ripped off from Julian's blog...

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old University of Notre Dame lecturer.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress."

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change.""Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it".

2005-11-12T18:16:00.000Z

It was a while back since I read Lyn's blog post on a Christian who backslided. I posted this message on here comments-double-posted in fact, I'm afraid. Anyway, I was reminded once more of a point of view that, though rather harsh and perhaps a tad overzealous, would still seem perfectly logical.

"Helping to increase the number of people who repent the one single thing that I can think of that we can do for God that actually matters a great great deal. Hence to ignore such a request, in spite of all the things that He has done for us, is being quite ungrateful.

Jesus was once approached by a rich man who asked Him something along the lines of what he should do to be more like Him or something. After a series of questions in which the rich man answered favourably, Jesus declared for the man to sell all his posessions, give the profits to charity, and follow him. In other words, the rich man was told that to be more like Jesus, he should give up ALL his earthly posessions and follow him. However, he did not.

And every day we lead our lives worried about pernickety earthly stuff, simultaneously wishing for the same thing the rich man wanted. Who else but us is to be blamed for our unhappiness in life???"

I'm not at all depressed or unhappy right now. On the contrary, a number of minor obstacles that I have faced have magically metamorphopsed into some rather sweet fruits. It's one of the moments that I am aware of the chaos of the world-and am aware of its unruly self tearing away at anything it can get its hands on, yet am remotely affected, crusing along a purpose-driven path, knowing yet unmoved by the fact that tomorrow my peace may end, unaffected by it all.

Bliss-and here I refer not just the spiritual Christian conception of it, but also your own, everyman take on what exactly it is. When you have it, think of the people who don't have it. Shouldn't we be doing something about that?

Winning the Dating Game

2005-11-06T00:16:00.000Z

I wrote the following and posted it up not too long ago on a Friendster bulletin board. I post it below for your reading pleasure until I can think of something more meaningful to write about...

An extended period of life in the UK has exposed me to some home truths about the laws of attraction inbuilt in each and everyone of us. Being a heterosexual guy I hold these truths to apply mainly on girls, but beileve that they would work equally well with girls should they care to apply these principles on guys as well.

1-Millions of guys out there fall for girls and spend indefinite amounts of effort on them, slaving away at getting their approval, yet are never successful. They cling to them, shower them with attention, return their calls, yet appear destined to remain dateless. Yet every so often one sees a message by girls detailing that all girls want is for their boyfriend to SMS them everyday and shower the with gifts. If this held true in ALL cases, should these guys not all be attached already???

2- The thing is, the saying that the more tightly one holds something the less he gets of it is not a myth here. The reason for this lies in a flawed perception in peoples' minds of what it takes to impress the oposite sex.

3-Gentlemanliness IS the answer to a good relationship, and especially if you are sure the girl likes you. It's not, it seems, however, the answer to a good first impression. People say that a good first impression is based on chemistry. I say that that Chemistry has to come from somewhere.

4-Whether or not an immediate confession of love succeeds therefore hinges upon whether or not it is one-sided. If it ain't you're in luck. If it is, well....then good luck! The good news is, however, that I believe Chemistry CAN be cultivated, so don't give up just yet!

5-Exclusivity is one thing that contributes to this. It explains why all stars have massive followings from the opposite sex. You treasure something you need to work for. Playing hard-to-get and appearing not to be desperate appears, from my observations, to increase one's value in the opposite sex's eyes. Desperation and pliability- being able to be controlled easily by another- however, are BIG repellants.

6-Over the years I have cultivated in myself a gentlemanliness-not really because I wanted to be liked or but rather because it has been in accordance with my moral and philosophical principles. In an effort to make everyone I know happy I have answered their requests whenever they called, given them a hand whenever they asked. Always have I sought to be around for those in need, and never have I declined a request fulfillable within my reasonable means. By and large I have succeeded, and possess a college- wide reputation for being one of the "nicest" guys around. Dependability and reliability have bothe worked to counteract my niceness, however, and I have, since my arrival here, remained constantly dateless. Here and now I therefore declare all of this bulletin true, and hold myself as evidence that it is. Should any girls happen to disagree with me, however, I remind you once more that I am still dateless, and would welcome you all with open arms.

How fake can you get!?!??!?

2005-11-05T11:32:00.000Z

Blooming hypocrite spammers that post comments with pretyped praises on how groundbreakingly wonderful my blog is when its so DARN obvious that they obviously have NOT read my blog!!! Its almost funny in a weird way, and will leave the two fine examples of the prevous post there.

I must apologise for the prolonged absence anyway. Too much has been happening at school with University applications and noises that my A grades STILL aren't high enough As. I'm applying for Medicine right now...Nottingham, Queen Mary and King's College. The romantic illusion of The Cambridge Dream is over-for now, for the same reason listed above. The numerous number of bad vibes I have heard regarding its Medical school make me wonder if it is for the better though. I'm fixed on Medicine and nothing else now, though whether or not I actually do become a doctor or a Scientist is still a moot point.

And it does suck that I was told by my school that I shouldn't apply to the top Unis for Medicine (I'm talking things other than Cambridge as well) because I've not enough work experience. Clearly the chose to ignore that I could get more work experience-I've in fact witness about 5 cardiac surgeries being actually performed and the smell of BURNT HUMAN FAT is still fresh in my nose. Not forgetting that I'm gonna pay lots more than the locals for being an overseas student...AND that I'm a cut cut above the rest as well. =P Nottingham will be my choice for now anyways-pretty strong, nice place and out of London as well.

Apologies once more for the extended absence, My next official post will be out before the end of this week.

Coping in a Land with an Obvious Lack of Sashimi

2005-09-22T13:26:00.000Z

*Some but not all of this article, this sentence included, is entirely true and has not been exaggerated to produce any comic effect.*

-Open the box if you haven't done so already. Save yourself the trouble and grab a small knife to do it-the plastic's too bothersome to open with your bare hands.

-Soak in the smell of the freshness. Take it slow, take a moment or two to appreciate it concentrate on its fullness, and let it take you wherever it leads your mind to. For a smell, like a picture, paints a thousand words-an instantaneous burst of countless reactions and corresponding associations that beggars any and all description-it must be smelt to be believed.

-Pick one out from the box. Observe its shape- the near perfect circle with its tapering end. Observe its feel-firm and ever so slightly soft. Last but most importantly, observe its colour-deep red stripes that surround spots that alternate with a pure white background. Take in the contrast of colours in red and white-the extent of the contrast is one of the most telling signs of the quality of your food. Now that you have seen the ultimate level of perfection, keep it it your head, so that you may choose the best set when you are next able to buy some more. Such shall be your secret technique that you shall henceforth use to purchase the finest gourmet food available that your dollar or pound will allow. Take care not to reveal it, however, lest your pesky brother from it starts inferring from it how you sound like a housewife. If this can be countered with his wee girlfriend saying that you look like a scientist however, then that is good and fine. I'm sure you'll agree, however, that it's best not to take chances like that.

-Dip it into the liquid found in the box to moisten it slightly. Now bite it, and experience the climax that you have before this been wasting so much to prepare for. But I'm sure you'll agree it to be worth-it. Taste-strongest of all the senses that this of all foods is specially designed for. Let the essence of seafood that it exudes with every bite flood your soul once more. It was for me a journey back to my quaint little home in Singapore, gathered in front of homemade steamboat with my family, dining on something that was probably much nicer and less processed, yet something that I for some strange reason had then failed to appreciate. No matter-eccentricity once made a guy who spent his time aseiling in a pink elephant suit live up to 110 years old.

-Repeat the process until satisfied. Other than the tail end that posesses a special crunch, there is not much left in terms of food to talk about anymore. Do not rush the food-keep it for later if necessary. But should you finish everything, there still exists one more moment of bliss-the remainder of the liquid. This is the ESSENCE of the meat that makes it so good-do NOT waste it if you can at all help it. You should be able to act how ever you want, so drink it all up right from the box, slurping optional. When I say that you should be able to do this, I mean that neither Her Royal Highness nor any other posh person who invites you to a meal will consider it diginified to give you processed, ready-made food right from the box, no matter how nice the food may be. However, if you land yourself in exceptional circumstances, mix some unflavoured rice or pasta into the box, and eat it from there. This, however, SHOULD be avoided at ALL costs, because 1-neither pasta nor rice is suited to be eaten with such a watery gravy. The starchiness of it will drown out the taste. 2, it does not soak it up properly. For reasons given above it is not likely you will need to act posh with table manners when eating this. Hence, do NOT sacrifise taste for flimsy non-existent concepts of poshness or table manners. Drink the soup right from the box, and when done and over, dispose of the box in a responsible manner. Ignore the evil microbes that make the food and rubbish in your house stink to high heaven-they've had more than their share. Think instead of the nitrifying bacteria that live in the soil. Amino Acids and proteins are a primary source of Nitrogen for them. So leave the pack in a patch of soil and let the Nitrosomonas and Nitrobacter there, which help in one of the world's most important ecological cycles, enjoy the flavour that you had previously enjoyed. Thank you.

And THAT, my friends, is the art of appreciation of quality Gourmet food in the form of Sainsbury's Taste The Difference King Prawns, or how to make your dollar or pound last. 5 POUNDS OR 15 SINGAPORE DOLLARS A BOX IS NOT CHEAP YOU KNOW!!! Yes I know, I am being cheap. But I am comforted by many of my Indian friends through the knowledge that I'm not alone. So this makes me part of the Patel or Shaw crew you ask? Neither-Tan crew for me I'd say. Perhaps a Kinomoto or Daidouji crew on one of my more giddyheaded days. Yes I know my spending prowess is absolutely nothing compared to Tomoyo just yet, but that's beside the point.

Though of course money is not half as important as the fact that one should enjoy his food. Besides, those prawns DIED to give you food, you know!!! Just GULPING them down whole like what most people do-doesn't do much justice to the creature does it? Indeed Ms Beautifuk, you've not quite convinced me to vegetarianism or veganism yet, but you have made me look at my food in a whole new light.

You may also be proud to learn that awareness of cruelty to animals is fast increasing here. Advertisments all about it have been appearing, and the big supermarket chains have hence been riding the tide and chucking in stickers like FREE-RANGE CORN-FED RSPCA-APPROVED CHICKEN (which my Mum buys on a regular basis), or mad slogans like:-

Sainsbury's SO Organic Prawns- Hand-Caught Prawns, farmed to reduce Environmental Damage"

Sainsburys has 4 types of prawn, you see-Taste the Difference, SO Organic, Normal and Basics. Basics an an evil euphemism designed that means that it's low price, which calls into question the method they use to cut price. 99% of Basics food is clearly sub-standard- in both other products and prawns. Excessively small SHRIMPS (and they dare to say just a little smaller!? Gotta admire their advertising!) that are FROZEN, WTF!? and have such LITTLE colouration (Remember? Contrast of colours=good prawn) you HAVE to wonder WHAT are they doing in order to cut costs!!!? Mutated shrimps that are caught with nets that are dumped into the sea after use, then made to grow a little faster by eating toxic sludge composed of chemists' failed attempts to create a new radioactive element and is therefore free-the remainder of which is then buried in the neighbourhood playground no doubt! And they DARE to use the advertising tactic that implies care for the environment!?BLOOMING HYPOCRITES!!!!

And perhaps even MORE tellingly, they FAIL to include a picture of their product when I went looking for it on their shopping list!!! Ashamed of their products already-and they expect people to buy it!?

All they have evidently been trying to do is make a chain of food that appeals to all-rich people, normal people, environmentally conscious people and poor people. Companies USUALLY are concerned with nothing but sales-which is why I can't totally buy any goody-goody slogan like that. But seriously Sansbury's-because of my momentary pleasure with your Taste The Difference Kng Prawns, I will forgive you today. Fail to lower your prices for them, however, and I will personally smuggle all those Uranium, Meitnerium and Ununquadium that you buggers have buried deep in the playgrounds into your foods, hence causing a countrywide mutation scare that I will sue you guys for till your pants have fallen off, hence exposing the extra few growths that you suddenly obtained overnight in between your legs. You have been warned.

BTW: Yeap, my 18th Birthday has passed, you noticed. This is not good. It implies that bus fares will soon be much more expensive for me.

No Wonder Sex Sells

2005-09-20T07:35:00.000Z

I was talking with my mum last night about Lee Kuan Yew having a very smart wife when she popped the following quote up:-

"Behind every successful man is a woman."

But if every successful man has a woman behind him...

...then a man who is successful automatically implies that he has woman behind him.

In other words, a man without a woman is hence excluded from the set of successful man, and is hence unable to be successful!?!?!

Evidently, people have realised this fact, because one of the things that possesses the greatest magnetic attraction for the primal instincts of man is SEX! Yes my friends, that is why sex sells. Hmm...perhaps this is why I'm not successful yet.

Perhaps the absence of a girl could be a reason for why I've not been blogging though. Because my brother's wee girlfriend has been away for such a long tim,e hence keeping him cooped up in the house! That won't be stopping them from sticking me in a school miles away from home from 12.30 to 5pm though-and that's when I'll add the finishing touches to my entry on meat. Will see you guys soon enough then!

So it has Begun Again

2005-09-08T21:55:00.000Z

I've pretty much lost count of the number of brilliant post ideas I've lost to the night. It seems my muse(?) has quite the tendency to arrive just before I go to sleep, only to have vanished without a trace when I've woken up-a by product of sleeping at 5am and waking up at 3pm during the holidays no doubt!It annoys me even more to look back at my holidays only to find that I have spent its countless nights playing Dynasty Warriors 4-what is probably THE most COMPLETELY, TOTALLY and UTTERLY repetitive game around, when I've so may other better things I could otherwise have done! Indeed, boredom is often but an euphemism for laziness and the shirking away from important things. It's perhaps lucky that school has started. It seems one of my major problems is finding motivation to do something properly constructive when on my own. The presence of studying something with others, or at least in the presence of others, often seems to up my willingness to do it.

But that, of course, is no excuse. I need more self-discipline.

Harry Potter and Inuyasha Revisited

2005-08-21T23:09:00.000Z

This is the second time it's happened-to not complete some book/show, pass judgement over it, and only to be proved dead wrong when you proceed to complete it-first with Harry Potter, and then again with Inuyasha. I first thought Harry Potter Bk 6 good, only to have its pace drop exponentially. It got good when they got to the story, but it was quite a stretch where it got a mite repetitive. Harry is trying to solve the mystery and fails, lather, rinse, repeat. Not desirable, but I suppose forgivable on the grounds that it didn't get too boring. Anyway, if any of you people are interested, the following 2 links(spoiler-ridden) have some pretty solid analysis and plot predictions.
-On Dumbledore
-Garland Graves-on Horcruxes and Such

And Inuyasha-well the same thing happened. They actually decided to remove the crap, and hence the story, which like I said was nice and solid, flowed on nicely. As an entertaining anime, I think that this definitely manages to hold it's own. Magnetic holding power that is spawned from these 2 works being good stories, hence keeping a viewer/reader interested is something both Harry Potter and Inuyasha seem to have. They also both have cheap filler that quite heavily obscures a good storyline. In terms of whether or not they should be called Art these 2 works stand on fairly equal ground. Do they deserve the title?

There have been times in which I have chanced upon some work, and after looking at it, have been so floored by its brilliance that I fell it undeniable that it should be considered Art, an example being The Great Gatsby. Though Harry Potter and Inuyasha are both made up of very good stories, for some reason or another, they failed in doing this. Why? An attempt to answer this question led me to this site, and I was just absolutely in awe of its brilliance. For some reason I knew that I had found a "good" work of Art. I thought then, that everything I have reviewed here, if judged by such standards, definitely do not qualify.

I had been wondering if Ihad been setting my standards a bit too low. But then again, to compare these against like Nobel Prize winners is a bit....harsh, isn't it? HP and Inuyasha were not intended to be for people who indulged themselves in that sort of "highbrow" stuff. Though they are not consciously "kiddy" or childish in that they do not rely solely on assorted bling-bling to garner viewers, they are still intended for kids. But then if you say that, then perhaps that is why childrens' programmes are not winning the Nobel Prize or being considered as being works of Art! Indeed, it is the presence of this "highbrow" stuff that differentiates HP and Inuyasha from those other things that just scream at me as being Art. So in that case, perhaps they are not Art.

It now strikes me what diffierentiates HP and Inuyasha from those other works of conscious Art. There seem to be 2 broad qualities present in stories that make me call them good. One is just simply being a good story-perhaps suspenseful, or simply just poignant and plain emotional appeal. The other is being to me conscoiusly "Art"-basically being highbrow and discussing incredibly deep philosophical Zen stuff. Conscious Art relies on the presence of the latter. Another thing I notice is that I have not yet come across a SINGLE work that manages to be both and be both WELL. Harry Potter 6 perhaps came the closest. It had a good story because it was suspenseful when no fillers were present. Discussions of the nature of death brought about by certain plotlines leave thinking readers with some food for thought, which is though not heavily emphasized, pervades the atmosphere of the end story. Inuyasha was a good story because they successfully managed to make viewers empathize with the sufferings of each ad every character. It was philosophical at times, but only perhaps to younger kids who've not seen as much of life and not to someone as old as me. Desperate housewives was also very suspenseful and hence a good storyline but only PASSABLY conscious Art. The Great Gatsby was powerfully Art because of it's lyrical similes and the delicate discussion of faded dreams and lost love, though I do wonder if I am alone in thinking it not suspenseful. In concentrating on either one of the 2 qualities that make a good story, I think it leaves little time left for the other quality. Perhaps this is a hallmark of how difficult it is to attain even one quality. And if it is really that difficult, I think fillers aside, perhaps having even one makes for praise. both Inuyasha and Harry Potter deserve the term of Art. It does seem that people would consider the fulfillment of being deep, or the second quality more important for something to be called Art, but I agree with Capek. If Art is to "abolish boredom, anxiety and the greyness of existance", these have done just that for million of people worldwide. No you won't be winning any Nobel Prizes anytime soon, but J.K. Rowling and Rumiko Takahashi, I won't complement you two for a fantastic job well done because YOU INCLUDED FILLERS DAMN YOU, but you did good enough. Congratulations for being the creators of 2 works of Art.

And on that note, I shall end for now this series on reviews on Art that has made me sound like some kind of ancient university professor minus the knowledge. It has been an enlightening experience that adds a little more colour to my boring school holidays. Perhaps I should congratulate myself, now for creating Art that abolishes MY boredom! Oho! I've created Art on this humble little blog of mine!

OK that's by far enough crap here. I end this entry here. Live well, dear readers!

BTW: Julian if you missed my tag, go to www.boxtorrents.com and you will find all 6 seasons available for download through the programme called Bittorrent. you may also want to search www.mininova.org for "Wind-Inuyasha Symphonic Theme Collection"-orchestral renditions for assorted tunes from the show. The music ROCKS-check it out!

New Layout

2005-08-20T16:44:00.000Z

MUCH better and easier to read. Goodbye Sakura Kinomoto, it was nice having you. Tagboard and links will be unavailable until I can figure out where to put them without them being in the way.

Will update sooon with some parting words on Art.

Inuyasha-A Work of Art?

2005-08-13T02:10:00.000Z

And like sand through the hourglass, so has passed the days of my lives, one day after another, as I unwittingly repeat cheesy soap opera and anime lines in my own head, visit the mentally impaired every Thursday, constantly stumble over something as annoying as rythm in trying to play 5 for fighting's 100 years yet learn the relatively monstrous Dolly's Dreaming & Awakening in 3 short days, another 2 weeks have passed since my last update. Wanting to get my thoughts on Inuyasha on the computer a bit sooner, there hence arose a dire need to get my annoying brother off the computer. The foolproof plan was hatched, but it is so often that the beast called life throws a wrench into your plan. This time, the wrench took the form of the rather unique British store named Argos.

Now, if you've done a litle Chemistry and are noticing the smilarity between Argos and the noble gas Argon, I will tell you now that this is no coincidence. Because Argon was named AFTER Argos, which in actual fact is Latin for "Lazy". And what in the name of the world of crazy false advertising is a store out there naming itself LAZY!?!? I've like heard of an Indian restaurant that acually named itself Gaylord, and it's supposed to be from America, like cosmopolitan and all where the first thing one is likely to think of upon hearing such a name is a restaurant isn't going to be anything remotely related to being the god of happiness or whatever.We ignored such warnings, anyway, only to have our TV come 4 annoying days later, ie today. Hence my brother got stuck on the computer for yet another 4 annoying days. At least he's stuck there for a change, and my plan eventually fell through.

And that, my friends, is the crap of this entry sorted with, along with just one of the many examples of how one's life can get controlled by something as inconsequential as a store...eeesh. So let me tell you about Inuyasha-possibly my final review for quite a while. I shall not include the movies here.

Inuyasha,to start with, was interesting enough. It had a fairly absorbing storyline, some very funny jokes, and some pretty good music. As I ploughed through the first few seasons, I found myself pretty much personally involved with it. Yet as it dragged on, episodes that felt extremely pointless became increasingly common. These often found themselves following a very linear storyline, with the characters performing actions that we had long since grown to know them for over and Over and OVER again! Such actions are used heavily in almost all types of anime, and the most common and effective of these are the funny ones. Yet we do NOT, for crying out loud, need to be reminded yet AGAIN of the love between protagonists Inuyasha and Kagome in what seems the 100th way of demonstrating it! Though not a huge fan of love stories myself, I found some of the methods actually worked. But I strongly suspect this constant repetition of the same message made the whole series begin to seem extremely draggy. From something that I felt to have a nice storyline full of twists yet to be discovered, it lapsed into something that was extremely linear. It all feels like the creator was doing it just for the sake of lengthening it. Seriously, it could have done MUCH better if it was shorter.

So is Inuyasha art? It does not impress me, and the story does not seem to be taking any dramatic shift in the remaining handful of episodes. I hence regret to say that I do not think it Art. Though their target audience of kids, with their slower minds who've been watching and reading less of such material(debatable?)-not to mention that anime is supposed to be aired only once a week- might think otherwise, I don't. Is my boredom perhaps then because I watch too much of it in too short a time? Probably, but if Art is supposed to include only the best works that are NOT boring, probably not...

I think we've enough of Art reviews for now. I would like to do a last review on Card Captor Sakura, as I'm wondering if it will survive my judging criteria, but that will have to wait until I get my hands on my episodes back in Singapore. Until my next entry, I recommend The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald-powerfully emotive language and story. Art? Probably. You have a look for yourself and tell me for a change. =)

Arts Revies: Lianspeak and Desperate Housewives

2005-07-24T06:51:00.000Z

Review 2 along with a few other issues on- The archetypical Ah Lian description of herself, the example being discussed as displayed below...

_[[0nce up0n a tym..
_[[iin a haut3ed h0use..
_[[live a pwiink sk3elet0n pwincess..

On the outset we would all obviously denounce this as absurdity to the extreme, typed by a hopelessly bimbotic...no to be bimbotic implies that the person has at least some looks to be proud of. Pehaps like my sources said you may call her a "Asia Living Dead Doll", and immediately proceed to denounce her as being desperately in need of the cleansing fire of "intellectualism", and proceed to sanctify her as she has already been done. I'm currently not interested in lengthy moral debates asking whether such a process is right or not but to look at her, or rather such, writing. Is it Art? Immediate answer is obviously no. BUT is there any reason as to why it might be considered Art? A breakthrough from the dull monotonies of the English Language? An ingenious idea to replace letters with numbers? Neat comparison of herself to a "skeleton princess", implying not just how she feels deadened by her boring life, but also how strong the bond of love between herself and her "prince" is that it could survive even in the after life-just like Antony and Cleopatra in Shakespeare!?!?!?!

I'll first clarify that I'm not going to start trying to convince everyone that nestled within the Ah Bengs and Ah Lians of Singapore are a few budding William Shakespeares. No it should go without saying, but probably goes better with saying that she was just riding on the current trends and following her teenage instincts. Thinking of her love for horror movies caused her to use the word "skeleton", being typically girly to the point of nausea made her use "pink", and absurd visions of grandeur made her call herself "princess". Besides, SHE was definitely not the one to invent the letter-number writing style AKA leet speak. Neither is it likely that she was thinking of such complex associations when writing that.

Value is attributed by the person who is doing the valuing. And the fact that the person who created this did not have such interpretations in mind when she wrote this does not make the possibility that the passage may be Art any more remote. Like John Carey also said, it is impossible for an author's intentions to be used as part of our judgment of whether something is Art. Do the Art Galleries in the world all display along with their pictures descriptions of the author's intentions? Do we know what Shakespeare thought of his plays when he wrote them as we study them? All that exists is some hazy mental picture of the artists being awfully Literary people-simply because we hear everyone else saying they are. Similarly, all we have of this girl is the preconceived notion that because she types like that she is retarded and anything that she craps out is thus likely to be equally so. Yet we have already seen that it is possible for one to drag something out of it, and on such grounds, declare it a work of Art!!! I know, the association of yourself as being a "pink skeleton princess" sounds just plain stupid to me as well, but remember that I am going to avoid emotions in my judgments because each person's emotions are coloured by what they have seen and heard. Imagine an intelligent being discovering this sentence 500 years in the future. It's novel, probably totally unlike anything they're used to. True, it's stupid, but it sure gives a lot of laughs! (It certainly did for me.) The person who wrote it must have been a good comedian! Not to mention that something Literary can be found in it. Indeed a true gem-IT IS THUS A WORK OF ART!!! With this absurd but nevertheless plausible possibility in mind, we are confronted some very interesting issues.

First, recall the net-name of the guy behind the delightful Intellectum Vaide Amat. Fr057m0un3- aha I FINALLY GOT IT. I digress. Its leet speak for those who haven't noticed yet-a point I'd like to elaborate further on here. Furthermore. we all know about how Leet Speak is very commonly used by the so-called retards of Singapore. Yet I doubt that anyone is running away calling Fr0 a retard for his use of Leet Speak in his nickname. No, obviously, the difference between the use of Leet Speak in Fr0 and in Beng/Lian Friendster Profiles is the fact that the former is actually able to use it sensibly and properly. Yet the Fr057m0urn3s in this world are outnumbered by the Bengs/Lians 10 to 1. The result is hence that Leet Speak has earned for itself a reputation of a quintessential component of retard vocabulary even though it is indeed a pretty ingenious and inventive way of typing. Purists of Leet Speak may even go so far as to accuse the Bengs/Lians for desecration of the language.

It is, however, in Singlish where this effect of desecration may be even more pronounced and subtle. Many, me included, cherish it as a quintessential component of Singaporean vocabulary. Yet it is seen as the language of Coffee Shop Assistants and people who've not half a brain to learn proper English. Yet it can be used to interesting effects-and not just needlessly and incessantly in Phua Chu Kang. Check out Rockson's blog-perhaps not the best of examples, or any other blog that liberally uses the language in good humour for that matter. No, neither Leet Speak nor Singlish deserve the reputations that they have. Rather, it's the effect of exposure to the masses, and especially to the masses that ABUSE it that is responsible. Indeed, French novelist Gustave Flaubert once said "Equality is slavery-that is why I love Art". Schopenhauer, I hear, also once said that "the most excellent works of every art, the most notable productions of genius must always remain sealed books to the wide majority of men, inaccessible to them, separated from them by a wide gulf, just as the society of princes is inaccessible to the common people." Is this why they made these statements, lest these noble works of Art would have their style copied and desecrated by the masses?

The UK may not be the best place to say this, but I never really thought that monarchy or the idea of nobility was a very good ruling system to have. To become superior just because of your blood? Ridiculous. Neither do I agree with the rest of what Schopenhauer says actually. What's wrong with sharing a good work of Art with everyone else? What is the use of locking it up in a dusty cabinet until it grows mould? Indeed, I think they were "masturbating their own egos" when they said this, the usual superiority complex that one gets because he, unlike most of the rest of his lesser fellow human beings, can appreciate "true" Art. But even if Art is desecrated to this extent-should people, even the "retards", not be able to appreciate the Art along with everyone else? Indeed, I see no point in one spending his effort creating something and yet not see it spread. Heck, if Singlish and Leet Speak were NOT used with the magnitude that they are now, I think they'dve been forgotten LONG ago! Spread the good news, and help Art abolish, in Capek's words, "boredom, anxiety and the greyness of existence"!

The second issue the Lian description being called Art raises is the fact that just about ANYTHING can then be called Art, because ANYTHING can have SOMETHING drawn out of it!!! Hence, this review on whether something should be called Art is effectively meaningless because ANYTHING can be called it! Even, as we have seen above, something that is simply crass and stupid which someone spun off at the top of her head. Like I had earlier demonstrated in my first review of Harry Potter (And having finished the 6th book be sure that I shall come back to it!), all that is left to do is bring in emotions. But the thing is, as you would have seen, there are many different angles that one may view something as, any of which may not be as clear-not to mention that we forget to look. All I can do to stop this calling of everything Art would be to judge by MY standards. Inevitably emotions will at some point be brought in but oh wells, I don't think that can be helped.

Thus my final answer as to whether I will consider this Art? Well, not like there are THAT many things to delve into. Entertaining concept it indeed is, but I think there are so many other things out there that are much more so. Though by my standards there is indeed something to talk about in this, that really is all there is to it. It's frankly not much to shout about. Hence, sorry Miss (or Mrs?) Pink Skeleton Princess, you were interesting to look at, but no.

Review 3 on: Desperate Housewives, in honour of Julian's request.

This was aired on public TV here when I still had school. Hence I missed many episodes because I was too occupied, not to mention they changed the time it was being shown and left me lost for quite a while. But I watched and remember enough of it to be able to talk about it. Oh and on a side note, I actually mulled over the possibility of giving the material below as some kind of comedic presentation as a substitute for playing the piano on the last day of term, but ditched it on the grounds that only Lit students would possibly find the idea of relating it to our Lit text funny. It is good to know the idea as not been wasted though.

First thing about Desperate Housewives is the fact that it is entertaining-and entertaining enough for me and it seems a lot of other people. It was a nicely woven story that was able to link at least 4 plotlines together, ad finally merge them in the last few episodes to form the dramatic conclusion that the viewers had all been waiting with growing impatience for. Indeed, I think this is the epitome of good serial TV popular culture that I had been trying to find 2 entries back. It is the type that requires viewers to religiously follow the story and be able to recall specific bits of the plot anytime in order to truly understand it. Indeed, with my lack of information on it I was often hopelessly lost. Yet it was still by and large suspenseful, delightful to follow and an overall joy to watch. Unfortunately I cannot elaborate much more on this aspect because of lack on information, but I think if we made high entertainment value one criterion for everything trying to claim the title "Work of Art" from me, I think this one makes the cut.
The second and perhaps more interesting thing is that it is a nice representation of many of today's things. I've already mentioned it as belonging to the upper cut of Popular Culture, but also the many ways female attitudes are being represented here. I am in fact reminded strongly of Return of the Native (Again!). Off the top of my head I can think of 3 similarities between the two.

-Both Serialized when released to the public.
-Both talk about Love in terms of what it was like the stories were written.
-Both paint a reasonably accurate picture of the general perception of women at the time.

Particularly notable are the last 2. Contrast both together and you can have quite a bit to talk about. For those who haven't read ROTN, conventional women were portrayed as being submissive creatures, the best of which were commonsensical and didn't care much about passionate love, just as long as their husband doesn't cheat on them. In contrast Desperate Housewives (DH) has women who are more Eustacian (unconventional) than Thomasin-like (conventional). The opposite of everything is in fact true. Love and sex to them forms a sizable chunk of all their lives and hence the show. They now have more authority in marriage than before, and play a much bigger role. Furthermore, lines of so-called conventionality are no longer clear and you can't single out anyone as being wholly conventional OR unconventional here. It is another representation of how diverse women’s' roles have become, and the fact that their stress has actually been prominently acknowledged in the programme has shown how they have in fact gained much more of a say in the family. Their roles are also neatly summed up in each lady-the one whom Teri Hatcher plays (forgot her name) being the part that is still stuck in passionate teenage love dreamland, Lynette being the one who is going mad because of the kids and her husband's possible affairs elsewhere, Bree being the one a bit excessively chastised by her husband but still straining to remain rational amidst the chaos, and so on. Every single facet of life that women have to go through has been magnified and represents a slice-albeit exaggerated for dramatic effect-of a modern woman's life, of what they supposedly think they go through everyday.

You might at this point reasonably object that all I have done is written a paragraph that could continue rambling about women then and now. And well, the thing is, I think it is the fact that they have captured all of this so neatly in show form, chucked that into a blender along with a nice storyline, turned that blender on and not have ended up producing a big mess quite an admirable feat. For is it not this fact that makes certain works of Literature appealing-the fact that the author stays so true to his/her emotions? I think I have seen pretty much enough of other soaps here like "Neighbours" and "Home and Away" to know that not every show has done it as effectively as this, as they end up sounding unoriginal and boring. Desperate Housewives, I may even go so far as to claim, has by taking the thrills of a drama and the typical "average person and love"-ishness of soap operas ended up being what I would consider to be the defining programme of popular culture. Admittedly enough if you are actually looking for the Literary value of Shakespeare, I advice you to go and watch one of his plays instead. Desperate Housewives does not relay on this to on its claim for a Work of Art. It comes up triumphant in other areas, and by virtue of these other areas I would pretty much believe that it is worthy of the term.

That's all I can do for today. Goodness I've been at the computer for the whole darn night! Nevertheless I do think this a much more effective way of spending time. Oh wells, comments and suggestions please!

PS: Julian, Inuyasha 1-9 is now with me. Reviews will follow when I can think of something.

The First in the Reviews of Art

2005-07-08T19:53:00.000Z

The exams are over and you would all probably have been, because of my horrendous infrequence in updating, entertaining either the possibility that I got messed up by the recent bombings in the London Underground or that I have broken totally new grounds in a human being's current state of mental atrophy. It's actually the latter, even though I did start the holidays in high spirits, especially since I had given a performance of my abilities on the piano (or lack thereof) which seemed to be quite a hit with everyone present. Yet it's been more than 2 weeks since the exams ended, and more than 2 weeks of playing the same 3 songs can get a bit boring. And neither the inaccessibility of the computer to me due to it being under near constant use by others nor being a night owl is helping much. And if there's one thing I can't do, it's the mastery of my emotions. Often this leads to a great zest for doing a many things, yet equally often transforms me into a serious sop-so it was that boredom settled in and for some most annoying reasons just doesn't seem to want to leave. But I'm sure we all know the above idle banter are all but excuses. So let's continue with this entry proper.

In the first chapter of John Carey's book "What Good are the Arts", the author attempts to define what exactly is a work of art. He eventually comes up with the answer that anything that anyone chooses to call a work of art is a work of art. Interesting definition, by and large, and one that I would like to try and discuss in this entry.

The question on what exactly a work of art is a philosophical question. Many other philosophical questions also ask for the definition of some elusive subject; life and consciousness being some of the most popular ones being asked. And from what I've been seeing definition questions are the dodgiest ones of them all. Consider the question "What is a Chair"-which I hear YJC Lit teacher Mr Steven Sim once tried out on his students...

A: So what is a chair?
B: Why, a chair is something that you sit on, of course!
A (sits down on floor) : So am I sitting on a chair?
B: Oh-no-ok, a chair is...a wooden structure that you sit on, comprised of 4 legs and...
A (sits on wooden table) : Like this?
B: No! OK well, it's got a back rest along with it's 4 legs...
A: But the so-called chairs in lecture theatres all stand only on a single beam of iron and don't have legs! Is it then wrong to call them chairs?
B: Fine! So a chair doesn't need to have legs! It should have a back-rest though....
A: Sofas have back-rests. What differentiates chairs from them?
B: Well...material! Sofas are more comfortable, because they have something stuffed in them which makes them softer.
A: But the seat at my computer has cushion stuffed into it, and I think it's quite comfortable. Yet I am told it is called a chair!
B: !?
A: And the things in airplaines most people sit on...stuffed full of soft things...doesn't sound right to call them chairs though does it? Seats, maybe? Aircraft seats?
B: !??!?!??!?!??
A: All that you are mentioning are but antithetitcal properties of a chair, you see...

The conversation could go on for ages. The final supposedly "correct" answer, if my memory serves me correctly, is that a chair is what mankind has, since the birth of the word "chair", defined as being one. Sounds alot like the definition Carey came up with doesn't it? Brilliant. Nothing could have being any less clearer! Furthermore, what we are trying to define here isn't even a term like "The Arts" whose definition has being the point of contention for quite some time, but a simple everyday object like a chair-and everyone is supposed to know what a chair is! Of course there is no need to come up with such a precise definition of what EXACTLY a chair is, and whether we call those thingies in airplanes chairs, seats or even sofas is of little relevance. To define the term "Work of Art", however, is a much more pertinent and difficult question, yet we are faced not only with this problem of precision but also a problem of vastly differing opinions. You see, as Carey said, although few would contest Hamlet or Beethoven Symphonies as being "Works of Art", many other things are being termed "Works of Art" even though their appearance hardly suggests it. The Tate Modern bought a can of the Italian artist Piero Manzoni's excretement, for example, and the Tate Modern is a distinguished London art gallery which though I have visited, have yet to catch sight of excretement lying in any place outside the toilets. Actually I didn't visit their toilet bowls either, but that's beside the point.

I did attempt to come up with my own answer, creating the following before I saw Carey's own. A work of Art, I expostulated, is anything anyone can clearly explain why exactly the said object is and should be considered a work of Art. Reasons for this may vary immensely, though the best works of Art, it seems, seem to arouse heightened emotions in their viewers.

That last bit on emotion was added because the quotes at the beginning of the book did indeed suggest it. They are "sacred", "breathe spiritual dispositions into us", "the visible appearance of God's kingdom on earth". It was interesting to note that I somewhat agreed with Carey, mine being a somewhat more precise version. I'll try to explain my specifics though. Anyone who is able to call something "a work of art" probably aleady has some aesthetic inkling in him/her to be able to understand and use the term in the first place, I'd think, and is thus probably able to justify his choice. Yet even though I added this bit so that the term "Art" wouldn't be misused, I suspect there will still be much contention on what is and isn't worthy of the term, considering how our emotions are the one thing on earth that is most susceptible to change. For me, I shall stick to my definition. But Carey's version has reminded me that "every man is entitled to his own opinion" could never be truer anywhere else, and if anyone's arguement strays into the world of emotions, as it inevitably will considering the nature of the topic, I will accept the person's decision as his/hers even if I don't agree-even if he calls that pile of...brown in front of us a splendid towering spiral shaped like a majestic pagoda, emitting scents that smell better than any of the spices or perfumes of the earth, tempting him to eat it more than that of the most fragarant dish that he has ever smelt or tasted...

Hence welcome, dear readers, to the absurd realm of relativity. For myself, however, whenever I come across some things I feel may be worth cosdiering for artistic value (and maybe even the ones that blatantly do not), I shall use the space on this blog to pen my thoughts regarding it. Here, I will be on the lookout for tastefully and stylishly-created works that do not need to use cheap run-on-the-mill material to gain popularity. The material should also prefarably be thought-provoking and an be an overall joy to read or watch. I shall try to base my decisions on these criteria where possible, and try my best to avoid straying into the realm of the emotional. Let us hence without further ado start our discussion on Harry Potter-my old Literary flame. Indeed, I once termed it another piece of Aliternative Literature, and the Harry in my online alias was inspired from it. Though my passions were nearly destroyed from the 5th book, I decided to give Rowling another chance with the arrival of the 6th. At present I have finished the first 14 chapters, but will try to base my discussions on my general knowledge of the series.

The storyline is so far enchanting, posessing much of the magnetic holding power that has defined the rest of the series. Indeed, much of this probably is probably owed to the creation of a world that feels amost as real as oursa main highlight of the book and definitely not an easy feat, no? I was unable to discern any Literary value in the book, however, until I looked at some past exam questions from a Literature set text The Return of the Native(ROTN). "Harry is potrayed as being an evolving character who, although fictional, is, like any typical person in the real world, plagued by as many pressures with the most notable stemming from his growing up." There-but I'm not making this a list of possible exam questions on Harry Potter. Indeed, I am beginning to think that many things out there that posess substantial Literary value. Admittedly for each that does there probably is one that posesses none, but I think all we need to do in many cases is simply look.

Admittedly enough a story cannot be perfect, and a gripe I have against this is the content about Harry's direct reactions to Ginny's flirtations with Dean. To some they probably spice up the story even more, and I suppose well...on the grounds that he is growing up it is explainable. But unlike the issue on how the family was annoyed with Fleur's imminent marriage to the extent that it initiated jokes, this to me felt forced in. I am prepared to bet that Rowling's primary motivavion to include this was the countless fanfictions up on the net that narrated a love story between their favourite couple. Indeed, correct me if I am wrong but this is but a side story which the story could have pretty much done without. It takes up valuable storytelling space that does not involve the main plot, should be removed, and is one part of the story, that being crass and superficial commercialism, is not Art.

It is altogether possible, however, that one questions the wisdom of my decision. Why is love singled out and not, for example, the humour? Heck, the whole story is a commercialised ploy if you say it that way! Furthermore, ROTN's ending was addled precisely because the readers wrote in to request for a happy ending was it not? Should you then not be calling ROTN a work of art? Well, even the author of ROTN himself admitted to such an act, and directly stated that "those with a more austere artistic code can assume the more consistent conclusion to be the correct one." Hence I suppose i, with my "austere artistic code" I would indeed have liked to see Hardy's original ending. As for the bit on commercialism, that is indeed a relevant accusation-that most "works of art", when it all boils down to it, is done to help earn the person money. To stay true to one's instincts and write with a flavour that is uniquely hers, however, is something that I do doubt Rowling did. Her flavour, as demonstrated in the first 3 books, is to create a gripping tale of suspense and mystery for Harry Potter in a uniquely-crafted world. It is not to write a romance novel. Of course, a fan of this part of the story may even and ask why I think the love is crass. This is where the problems of the world of relativity start coming in. Perhaps it is my fault, but I do not believe words will avail me to come up with a satisfactory arguement outright. It is likely that that fan will be unable to come up with a satisfactory arugement as to why love should not be termed crass however, and the only answer I can then find is because it is down to our irrational mental preferences. In which case, as I have earlier said, that neither is wrong. If, however, I am wrong, you are welcome to post your views.

It thus seems logical that a definition of Art is relative-because we are all made differently, with different preferences. I stand with what I have said about Harry Potter for now, however, and summarize my decision. For the most part, it is indeed Art. But for a small bit, it, to me, is not.

Thus completes the first of my writings on the arts. Now, my faithful readers, who have not give up on me even after a more than 3-week-long absence, I want you all to tell me which thing you want me to look at next!
-The TV Serial Desperate Housewives.
-The Animes One Piece and Bleach.
-The one that without which this blog would have probably not have born at all-Card Captor Sakura. (Ha! Thought I'd leave this one out did you?)
-Assorted works of "Art" that I saw during my visit to the Tate Modern.

The tagboard is open as usual. Responses will be answered more quickly than this entry took to come out, considering my brother proves less stubborn like he's been recently. Besides, writing this and reading HP6 is not exactly promoting any more atropy. Anyways, it's really late-or maybe you'd consider it early-see when words start screwing around with you!-it's 4.40am here-there! Nice and simple. Time for bed!

Pop Culture and $ingapore Idol

2005-06-26T09:18:00.000Z

-Everything Bad is Good for You-How Pop Culture is making us smarter-by Steven Johnson.
-What Good are the Arts?- by John Carey
-Mutants- by Armand Marie Leroi

3 absolutely excellent books that have occupied both my time and thoughts for quite a while. The first 2 have been associated with concepts of arts and such, and after a visit to the Tate Modern (an art gallery) the day before, I have quite a few extra ideas to pen down.

Let's start with the 1st book. I was interested on what kind of arguement he would come up concerning such mind-numbing reality TV such as Survivor and The Apprentice. It turned out he came up with a very convincing arguement on how watching such shows forces the veiwer to track the many relationships between each character on the show. And to do this, one grows increasingly adept at observing the hidden emotions on people's faces, and extended periods of doing this increases their Emotional Intelligence. A sensible arguement, by and large,and I'm wondering if it's just as valid when it comes to $INGAPOREAN Popular Culture. Does say $ingaore Idol, or any other Singaporean show for that matter, fit this bill in the sense that:-

-The audiences are attracted to the prospect of tracking a changing set of the unwritten rules in the system, eg not just how to sing but maybe how they might form alliances with the judges or other contestants so that their chances of winning are increased?
-Keen and incessant observation of the contestants increase the audience's ability to spot hidden emotions, track many distinct "relationship vectors" so that they can better understand the show, and hence increase their ability to deal with such situations if and when they occur to them in their own real lives?

A lack of exposure to such trash (or not) in recent months would render me ill qualified to answer those questions, but from what I can imagine Singapore Idol to be, the 1st proposition seems highly impropable. What was considered when that was discussed was more "highbrow" reality TV like The Apprentice, where perhaps the audience is trying to discover what kind of alliance A has with B and is it because they want to kick C or D out? A simple talent show like this seems to me to lack such a feature but I may well be wrong.

Much more probable to me is the second option. Now, I am immensely curious as to whether all we've been doing when we slam such things is really just trying to wave some kind of placard that perhaps screams "I AM NOT WITH THOSE WHO ARE ON THE BANDWAGON OF SINGAPOREAN STUPIDITY!!!" Have a look at the following 2 (invented) conversations and try to recall which type you most clearly remember to have heard first-hand...

Ah Lian: Yesterday ar, I think when Mr Cannotsing insulted Judge Dicky Lee on Singapre Idol hor, he was being sooooo retard lah! I mean you insult him until like that, he later where got vote for you? You know hor, I think because of this ar, Mr Cannotsing cannot win anymore-CONFIRM one!
Ah Soh: Yah I think you're right leh...Mr Cannotsing cannot sing also must at least suck up suck up abit right...after all if the Judges vote for you you also get more points right? And some more go and insult the bigshot Dicky Lee...STUPID also cannot stupid like that right!? Mr Cannotsing not only cannot sing, he also cannot use brain!!!
Bo Tau: But he eventually did what, I mean he apologised to the judge a bit later...even got kiss that girl judge...kan*na forgot her name...kiss her hand...so gentleman....and some more SOOOO Shuai!!!
Ah Lian: You GONG TAU lah Bo Tau!!! You cannot see he act ar!? KA PUI ah!? He act also cannot act properly one...that girl judge also much stupider than him to fall for that kind of thing!!!

OR Are they like THIS!??!?!

Ah Lian: You got watch American Idol last night? I think that Simon Cowell SOOOOO SHUAI right!?
Ah Soh: You NO TASTE LAH Ah Lian...this kind of Lau Ah Pek also say shuai. Shuai must say SYLVESTER SIM!!!!
Ah Lian: Ohyahyahyahyahyah!!!!!!
*Screams ensue for the next minute.*

Now put from your mind al that inane Singlish, the stereotype that anything that is from the mouth of such stupidly named prepubescent teenage girls is but hormonal crap. To me the latter seems much exaggerated, and the former, which rather unintentionally turned out to contain some essense of it, seems much more human-and much more probable. But what do you all think? As it is, I shall leave everyone with these thoughts and retire to do some Maths C4 before I go and celebrate my Dad's and brother's birthdays. Will be continuing with more when the exam finishes!

Growing Up

2005-06-07T17:00:00.000Z

RIGHT, I'm back again after yet another record-breakingly long absence. Apologies for the horrible infrequency in updates. There seems to be quite a pattern emerging in the recent posts regarding how they begins isn't there? Perhaps I should examine my blogging style today. The way we write is a reflection of our inner heart, which somehow manages to worm its way into everything we do. Indeed blogs are windows to the soul, and I am not much of an exception. Pseudo-intellectual stuff that when prepared are extensively rehearsed operas of the mind, yet never seeming quite as good when put down onscreen. Most of all, there seems to be an inherent habit in me to be unnaturally forced into writing things that are "politically correct"-ie, that do not convey the "wrong" idea. It seems to have happened to the extent that it has made me feel the need to watch myself in everything that I do, so that I don't accidentally "offend" someone. Such a mindset seems to have progressed to the extent that I feel like I've forgotten the "me" behind the mask that I feel compelled to put on everyday. Bah...annoying world it is sometimes. At this point in time the average blogger would then launch into a very draggy rant about how meaningless his/her existence is, all leading up to a climax that discusses how nice it feels when they slash their wrists. Ugh-how pathetic...not contemptibly pathetic, just pitifully pathetic that the search for one of life's basic philosophical questions-"who am I?"- can drive one such heights. There IS actually such a thing as thinking too much you know, considering that the answer isn't as essential to our existences as something like oxygen is. I'm past that stage already though. What remains for me is passive acceptance-it is pretty trivial stuff, by and large. Regardless, however, while it is probably true that knowledge is power, after one already actually KNOWS, it becomes impossible for him or her to slink back into that blissful state of ignorance before they didn't actually know. And we all know that there are many facts of this world that never seem to be as they should be.

It's this mindset which is behind the age restrictions on say pornographic things even though it's readily available on the net. Like people complained why there was all that fuss on censorship of the actress in Titanic-because they don't want kids to be privy of the knowledge of such malpractices. Similar reason why school is structured in such a way that everyone thinks that life is like a fairytale here everything is fair and nice and just and if you do good a fairy comes and blesses you with a happy ending with infinite riches or perhaps some form of significant other. Then hopefully people who come out will be like those fairies, and not like some horrible manic-psychotic who turns a gun on every one who offends him/her. Not an unreasonable assumption, considering how influential kids are-or even people at ages like this.

Indeed, grow up if you wish, but do so at your own peril, in the knowledge that you can never look back.

And yet after all this, "With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Strive to be happy." Why? Because amidst a field of endless white, the black spots always seem to have an annoying habit of being more prominent.

Probably the most incoherent post I've ever written when not under external influences. Apologies for producing such crap even after such a long time. Darn it, am going to blog more soon-considering that there isn't much revision to do nowadays, there isn't much else to do. Till then!

To Change the World

2005-05-13T11:55:00.000Z

Well >2.5 weeks before I updated again probably is quite a time-darn it, I think I'm gonna set a new blogging absence record during this period of my exams. Not that I'm actually studying at all to be honest-last night was spent all on watching anime downloaded from this site. Currently looking at Bleach. Nice anime-light-hearted, at times suspenseful, and a good one to while the hours away REALLY quickly with. Also managed to stumble upon Tsubasa Chronicle. CLAMP, creators of CCS, are responsible for this anime, which really shouldn't be any surprise because if you know a bit of CCS, you would notice some glaringly obvious similarities between the 2-something Clamp seems for some annoying reason to love doing. If you know your CLAMP and didn't squeal when you first saw dear old Sakura and Syaoran together, then this anime has, nothing to offer you. The only consolation is proably its background music-choral music always seems to get my vote.

Other than watching anime, there hasn't been many noteworthy things that have been happening, and I'd rather blog nothing at all than blog absolute rubbish. Besides, the somewhat circular nature of things right now seems to have paralysed my brain. Go school, get somewhat stressed about various irrelevant things, go home, slack the whole night away without doing any work, go back to school, lather, rinse, repeat. It's this kind of system that has made studying lose its appeal.

It's not at all surprising to note how like I've said there are so many people who will want to forget everything they've learnt after the exam. When my Maths teacher told us of an ex-student who mugged Maths and saw it as a challenge that he must overcome before he could get into Medicine, yet would also say how he would NEVER want ot be asked ANYTHING related to Maths after the exam, I was quick to critisize this as being a flaw of the education system, but I think I should take that back. After all, the Lit class that resembles some scene from Dead Poets' Society is an utopian idea. Here, Utopian refers to an unreachable ideal. Of course, we would all like our Lit classes to be like that, but to ask everyone to like what they study seems a bit forceful. After all, human beings are all different, and some will just not be academically inclined.

We all know that if someone is not academically inclined, it does not mean that he is a retarded, untalented nut, yet the fact remains that this person will have a much more tougher journey to the top. Like it or not, Edexcel's motto "Success through Qualifictions" may be materialistic, but it is true. If you do not have that cert full of kickass grades, society will automatically assume that you are a retarded nut. Such is the way of the world, and it will do us no good to continue moping about how unfair it is. Education, regardless, is one of the opportunities that we have been provided with, and opportunities as a whole do not often cross paths with us.

Read Mr Moron's recent post on life. It's this kind of real-world pragmatism that often gets in the way of one's dreams, but I think Sean Covey got it right when he wrote about the first habit of "highly effective teens"-Be proactive. YOU are the one who is in control of YOUR life. Eg don't start saying X pisses you off-YOU chose to be pissed off by X's crap! This translates into controlling effectively what opportunities one has so that what he cannot control gets influenced to the best of his ability. At the same time, be observant and DO NOT NEGLECT THE SMALL THINGS!!!!

We all dream of changng the world. We all think we will never be like George Bush and will not be changing lives. Well, whoever thinks this way WAKE UP, because I am going to KILL Linkin Park for spewing such rubbish. What about the people around you? Your friends, family, colleagues? What about the things you do? The words you say or write? Make no mistake, anything that you say or do CAN and WILL have an impact upon every soul you meet. The artificial, faceless formality and sometimes futile attempts through the signing of papers of the big-budget people up there can never compare to the power of the personal human touch. Don't think so? Well how do you know? Dare you presume to know THAT much about EVERYONE you meet? Every person is a vast, immense sea of emotions and feelings ever so subtly influenced by the things that happen in the world around them-many aren't even wary of how their thoughts and actions are influenced by others, and those that are are probably too shy to admit it. Put simply, NEVER think that you have not made a difference in this world. You may not know it, but every person you come into contact, you have somehow changed.

That is all I have to say for now. Till I next blog again which I hope will be soon, live well!

Education

2005-04-24T11:23:00.000Z

Man, a 3 week hiatus-gotta be a reocrd even for me, even to the extent that I almost forgot the username for this account! Brain has not hardly been moving for that time, hence the lack of any posts on this blog, for which I must apologise once more. I will probably be blogging weekly until further notice though, because we've entered first year final exam period, starting with the Mocks which will be next week.

I am thus summoned to my books once more, and am reminded yet again what a darn EXAM FACTORY this place is!!! I once spoke of how I felt that by coming here, I say that I have cheated in the game of studies bcause the standard here is much lower, hence making it infintely easier for one to obtain straght As. I take that statement back, but only the claim that I have cheated.

I will first address the sciences-Chemistry, Biology and Maths. My impression of Singapore's education system is that it makes its students contendwith rather challenging concepts and even more challenging papers. Questions asked are rarely repeated. Though questions over the years may emphasize near-identical skills, these are probably considered by the majority of students to be difficult to learn and employ, especially when they're under the pressurizing environment of an exam hall. Hence an A there, I would beileve, would probably be quite indicative of the fact that that the student, having spent 2 or more years of his precious life slaving over his books and past year papers, has acquired these skills.

Yet here, everything seems to be pretty much common sense. This coupled by the midset that if it's not related to the exam, don't talk about it! It seems thus that the students getting straght As across London increased so dramatically examiners had to find a way to decrease it. So they end up doing so by making marking schemes most picky-and annoying. Because even though what you write is right, you don't get marked right. It's gone beyond a case of reading carefully into the question and writing only specifically what's needed-it's knowing specifically what the examiner wants-which is sometimes, I own, but not often the former. So nowadays all I seem to end up doing is just staring at papers and memorizing answer schemes. And I find it most frustrating. You see, Singapore's barrier to and A is the challenging nature of the paper. The barrier to an A here is not the difficulty level but the examiner himself. Equally difficult to overcome, yet not half as sensible as the previous one.

I spent 7 months in the Singapore JC education system which many consider most hellish, 3 in MI followed by 4 in Yishun Junior College-horrid neighbourhood schoools that many consider even more hellish. Yet I loved every single minute of it. My stay in MI somehow caused me to start liking intellectual activity. Academic pursuits are supposed to be considered intellectual activity-Singpore's seemed much so, and so I subconsciously started developing a strange liking for my subjects, and work stopped seeming to be like work. Indeed in days when I felt particularly lightheaded I would start sounding like an annoying 6 year old kid and come up with the most novel statements...
"Can you tell me about the differences between similarities between Osmosis and FF's spell Osmose???"-and many more extremely lame associations.
"Don't eat that donut!!! It's sugar-coated and moist-an ideal environment for bacteria to grow!!!"-said to my cleanliness-obsessed Dad, who told me that I'm thining too much. I conveniently forgot to tell him that should bacteria be placed in such a concentrated sugar soultion, it'd probably lose water by osmosis so fast it'd shrivel up and die!

.
In short, I liked what I studied there. Pity they have to create something that seems to defy all that the subject stands for here. Perhaps it's a difference in definition of what it does stand for. They seem to say that Science is about being insanely specific. I suppose I disagree when I say that it's not about the answer alone! It's understanding-not just knowing THAT it's A but also WHY it's A, WHY it's not B, C or D, WHY it's also E, and then HOW and WHY all this can in turn be used to prove F. By writing all this down, I'd probably have grabbed what I'd needed in the mark scheme. But in an exam where amount of space to write an answer seems to be a very major limiting factor for me, this simply can't be done.

Even Lit can sometimes seem to be the same thing-specificity all round, though here it's thankfully enough not as vague in terms of what they want you to do. It's like you need to address the question throughout your answer-if the question asks about narrative tech keep saying things like "The author writes....because he wants to creates a...mood.". Indeed, that's different from saying "Chapter X has a very....mood because of its.....". Which like I said is sensible enough. Though it still annoys me because I sometimes try writing in a very lively and engaging way which unfortunately often is not what the examiner wants.

Azrul, I'm thinking about you and your blog again. =P Or anyone else who takes or has taken Lit before. Have you all ever considered this notion before? Stopped to ask exactly WHY that nut refuses to give you an A? "Not good enough" is just too darn vague-surely it's not your brain that's "not good enough" for an A? Perhaps they just aren't bothered with your writing style becaue it's not what they want? No matter that your vocabulary and points raised are relevant enough and indicative of your Einstein-rivalling IQ. Not what they want, no marks.

Indeed one always talks about how irrelevant what they learn is. Ms Beautifuk once spoke of her as being unable to write an essay on how to replicate the Insulin gene yet is still floored by simple Maths. Well unless you plan to enter those fields later who's bothered with memorizing everything? Common arguement against this is that it's the skills that one learns while trying to memorize all this is what makes your cert valuable-"transferrable skills" they'd call it. And I can't for the life of me think of where this kind of insane degree of specificity is required other than here!!! Can you?

I may write more some other time. But right now, I've said all I needed to say. Right now though I gotta go stare at more past papers. My exam board Edexcel has a slogan-"Success through qualifications." Darn helluva materialstic-but what can I say? It's true. Your As are the only thing that can prove Oxbridge you are worthy for them. And I'm hoping that university life at Oxbridge will give me a chance to do some REAL subjects-not just a chance to get As in exams. And they'd better not disappoint me.

Good luck all who'll be taking their exams soon!

BTW: This blog needs a new layout. Sakura's nice and all, and I hope she had a good brithday this April fools =) but

-My posts are so darn long yet less than 25% of the screen is used to display them.

-The tagboard is so obscure, and what you type there appears almost invisible.

-A tagboard is unsuitable for long comments, which I do welcome. If you've any, do email me. harry_kinomoto@hotmail.com

So yeah. And one more thing-here's something for you all to read should you get bored-a business-style doccument on the creation of the world. I found it as an advertisement under Azrul's tagboard. Don't worry though, it's pretty interesting!

More Incoherence

2005-03-30T20:46:00.000Z

"Experience-life's most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn"-Mark Twain.

It certainly is true is in this case. I know I said that was my last post on it , but I can't really seem to help myself from thinking of the recent chaos that occured in my heart- its coming, its reaching a climax and its going. Yes, it's finally gone. I may have previously said that I was free, but it was freedom not from the shackles of love but rather from my own "mind-forged manacles" that arose due to my certainty that "we" would never work out. What then followed was for a drive to in some way "help" her-what I termed a "Diggory-esque" drive-the concept of the silent protector crap. Consisted of very secret plans to help her,mainly involved poems on the classroom door or carefully authored messages of consolation on her blog's tagboard. One of my tags still remain on her blog but I doubt she actually read it though. So all consuming was this "Diggory-esque" fervour that all my attentions were diverted towards it, including the attention I usually gave to this blog. Apologies to all my readers for ANOTHER long dearth in entries anyways! LOLZ, it takes MUCH more than things like that to do something for someone-a fact that I failed to realise in my disillusioned state. Well, that's love for you!!!

Well, one learns, indeed one learns. I learnt A LOT. A lot about the 3 things that differentiate living beings from empty shells-Life, Love and Learning.

I learnt about life-emotions, distractions, suffering, endurance, enjoyment, and generally how to make it less crappy and more worth your while. Looking back right now it looks much like some kind of adventure, what with the clandestine operations to discover secret information or early arrivals in school to put up dodgy poems. But indeed, NO HUMAN EMOTION CAN EVER HOPE TO COMPARE WITH LOVE. The surge of feelings that caused by something that is wired so intricately into the subconsciousness of us all, that is the most primal instinct of every living being. "The nobleness of life is in love"-hmm...well one must definitely not be another Antony and in the rush of love lose sight of the other things in life. But indeed, love, and you will live as you have never lived before!

I learnt about love. Not just unplatonic love but also platonic love from friends. I've said it before, I say it again-without these guys, the mental hospitals would be much fuller than they currently are. Have a look at the following conversation on MSN between me and one fine example, Sanhita Sejpal...
Me: Anyway thanks again for listening
Sanhita: dont u dare say that agen!!!!!
S: never say thanks ok!!
S: im ur friend!!
S: uw ud d the sme 4 me
S: nxt tyme tell me bout that site so i can see wat ur talkin bout (A/N-Other stuff)
Indeed...I suppose I wouldn't think too much about doing the same thing for you either, no...but the fact remains, my friend, that though along with us both there are alot of people on this world who could do it, there are some who don't and yet you do. So thank you, perhaps not necessarily for listening, but more importantly, for being your fantastic self.

I learnt even about learning itself. Perhaps that I learnt through the experiences and the like. Well, huamans are indeed evolutionarily desgined to learn from experience. And perhaps how to learn. My old Lit teacher from YJ Steven Sim was actually quite right to say if you want to do well in Lit, go get a boy/girlfriend! Start going through all the proposals, the anticipation, the rejection, the whole hog- you'll start failing all your other subjects, but you will start doing well in Lit! LOLZ-too true. I mean, its like right now, as I read Hardy's Return of the Native, I almost feel asif the bok was written for me. Almost every emotional conflict once described n that book, yeap...been there, done that!

I wonder if all of that actually made any sense at all. haha..perhap's I'm just rambling on and on about something I haven't even fully let go of? Don't know, can't be bothered to find out or think about it now. All I'll do is let time and God do their good work once more. Overall though I still think it was good not to confess. So many unpleasantries were averted from that, and she need not undergo the crap of remembering.

And as for you...would you at all come to read this, would you at actually discover that my crazy MSN nicks were all written with you in mind, would at all realise the true irony and how I shared your pain in not just unrequited love...or even if you don't to be honest...I realised how you are a reflection of my inner soul...and how your presence had taught me so much....and how I still want to be there for you should you ever require me! Yet I cannot know if my blind assistance would actually make things worse for you who probably have undergone more than I have...I depart from this boat, and can only hope and pray that time will work for you like it had for me. For indeed you like everyone else is designed not to be falsely happy, drowning yourself in your sorrows in a suffocating facade, but be truly happy, such that you can then spread your wings and let the world experience the power of your name...

Crapz...it's like 5am and I am still not asleep! Oh wells, good night everyone! Will blog more often from now on!!!

Incoherence

2005-03-17T11:16:00.000Z

I have, after 15 days, finally come to terms with my deplorable situation. Not to say that my dreams aren't still haunted. But I have accepted the inevitable fate that I am doomed to solitude once more.

But I am free. I can continue to live life properly. And the contributions of many must be acknowledged, people who prevented me from reaching that Ophelic state of madness and tided me through this storm. To all these, though most of them do not read this blog, you have my deepest gratitude. The existance of people like you is the very reason why the mental hospitals are not actually as full as they are meant to be.

I still wonder if you read this, if you have actually proved smarter than you actually appear to be. But I have no words left, and no more strength to cry any more. I cannot, shall not, will not interfere with any of your schemes. But I sincerely hope that yours was not as lasting as mine. All I can do now is to wish you all the luck in the world. You, who touched me with a light so mysteriously strong, may you live in happiness for the rest of your days. That you will no longer have to put on once more the facade of a fake smile, but continue smiling with joy that comes truly from the eternal bliss that you so deserve.

This is the last entry concerning this crap. I depart from this boat. I feel like I have survived one of the hardest tests life can deal; survived the onslaught of emotions only such delicious poison can deal...But at last, I am FREE...

2005-03-14T07:48:00.000Z

I'm still stuck in this stupid rut...it has such a frippin magnetic attraction to me that everytime I manage to climb out of it, I am compelled to jump back inside again, feed myself wih this delicious poison over and Over and OVER again...

I reach for things I know I can never attain...yet can I ever stop dreaming of that thing so out of his reach??? Ceaseless thoughts about something so beautiful, so comforting, so utopian...how ironic that such thoughts would provide me with the overflowing joy and happiness that it would provide others, but crushing doubts and insecurities on what time would hold in store for me...Ahh, time, blessed guardian angel and sole companion in the storms of life, now turned most masterful torturer rivalled only by the lethality of the poison-laced arrows fired by the devil named Cupid, that strike the most vulnerable part of the body which can never be protected, yet whose death or loss causes the injured to want to lie, down in the dust where he came from, wasting away in futile dreams, and hope he wll one day be redeemed by the scythe of the reaper-one of the few probable remedies that exist for something as crazy as this...

我现在才懂得，
幸福是我的，不是你给的，
寂寞由自己负责...

Translation: I now know that happiness is mine to find; not yours to give, and that loneliness solved by yourself alone... My head has understood this fact for a very long time. And in times like this, my heart needs to as well.

Will try to resume normal blogging soon...

One worry outta the way

2005-03-10T11:19:00.000Z

One worry outta the way...Stats S1 exam-92/100, 12 marks above an A. Yay! This means I don't need to retake it come June.

But that's the least I'm thinking about right now. Lots of others....forming a disconcerted melange of crap, crap and more and more crap....I can't write now. Can't think, can't work, can't write no frippin nothing but crap, crap and more and More and MORE crap!!! That didn't make sense I know. Darn it man...sorry, I just can't sort myself out right now....

Time- oh my blessed guardian angel and sole companion in the stoms of life, swallow me up in your healing light once more!!!!

More on Christianity

2005-03-07T23:20:00.000Z

*N/B: This post builds up upon what I was talking about in the previous post, so you may want to read that first...*

"Ask any religious person how they know there is a God and they will be stuck."---Well, almost any religious person it seems. Look at this. I begin to wonder if hardcore scientific evidence for Christianity actually has already been discovered. Hmm...

I must start reading the Bible-I haven't seriously read it since primary school. And besides, it kicks butt even in terms of Literary value alone, so why ever not???

Comments or suugestions anyone? Do tag!!!

Christianity

2005-03-06T18:17:00.000Z

I think I've sorta gotten up already, but my feet are still shaking, as is my entire body from this frippin cold. I can't be everyone else's guardian angel when we weren't intended as such. But no, people can't be faulted for simply being themselves even though being as such gets in your way pisses you off. I say again that time will do its good work, and somewhere in the coming days I'll be my usual self again. Though hopefully a slightly wiser self, so that the next time this crap happens will be an even longer way away. Time to talk about Christianity. I'll try my best not to make it preachy...

Whenever anyone preaches about their religion to others, the fact remains that they cannot avoid making assumptions because they are using an arguement based essentially on the heart. Ask any religious person how they know there is a God and they will be stuck. Their answers will never address the subject matter because they have nothing to prove it other than the fact that they have, according to them "felt" this God. And by using an arguement that logical people will find extremely hard to believe upon first hearing it, they expect people to join their religion and often get extremely pushy about it! In the end, the person whom they are trying to convince more often than not leaves the preacher's company, shaking his head and wondering if the appearance of such immeasurably stupid people on this earth who seem to be willing to lap up everything that is thrown at them spells impending doom for all mankind. And of all religions, Christianity seems to be by far the religion that has been most anxious to conert othres. Thus, countless times of repeating this process probably explains why some people find it the most irritating thing on this earth.

The reason why I believe in this, however, is because I discovered it myself. I was a Christian since birth, but only by name. It is only since last year that I have....what would they call it...."developed myself spiritually". And there were only 2 players in this-me and God (I have not stepped into a Church since 2003). And I cannot help to wonder if this is why it could actually work for me. You see, I too have had a fair share of hearing others preach-people did that to me in Secondary school. The subject of contention was magic in fantasy stories-mainly in Harry Potter, and classmates actually tried to get me to chuck out my newly ordered HP book 5. Everywhere I look I see exactly why Christians are labelled as being "holier-than-thou"-especially when trying to defend their religion. When a pastor said he found 50 arguements against evolution, he failed, mainly because he based everything on very weak assumptions. And when I visited this site they actually said somewhere that "the fires of hell will be a bitter reality to those who do not repent". Ohh...I see...a THREAT!? Besides, God certainly did NOT want people to go to Him just by THAT!

I find all this very stupid. Because I think I speak for all Chrsitians on this earth when I will make this contract:-

I, MARCUS TAN PENG JIE, CURRENT SELF-DECLARED CHRISTIAN, PROMISE UPON MY HONOUR, LIFE AND SOUL THAT IF ANY IRREFUTABLE EVIDENCE EMERGES PROVING THAT CHRISTIANITY IS FALSE, I WILL IMMEDIATELY STOP BEING ONE, AND WILL DO ALL IN MY POWER TO SPREAD TO OTHERS THE MESSAGE THAT CHRISTIANITY IS INDEED FALSE.

All of you can be my witness. I said it here. The truth is out there. All we need to do is find it. If Christianity is indeed false, I am confident that evidence will emerge disproving it, or perrhaps another religion. The converse is also true. Its a serious thing I just pledged myself to (Hello? Honour, life and soul?), and I'm getting palpitations from the mere thought of it. Yet everyday I live I become more convinced that I will never have to carry out any of that, because one day, the truth, as I believe in it, will emerge.

My Christianity is a simple one-to-one relationship with God built solely upon prayer and currently totally devoid of the glitzy rituals of the church. I do not conform to any strict guidelines of Christianity like not eating meat every Friday or the like. All I do is live a life of passion moderated by reason-a personal set of principles created between me and God and no one else. And if anything I do is wrong, I know He will somehow let me know. Aethists will flog me for living in my own fantasy religion, and even devout Christians may flog me for not totally living the Chrsitian life. But to me, it's personal-and perhaps that is what makes it such a truly worthwile religion...no, relationship for me.

There are many other things I wanted to talk about. Like The Da Vinci Code. Perhaps a quick run-through I will elaborate on in future. There are 2 main points I've gleaned from watching a programme here called "The Real Da Vinci Code"...

1) The guy actually found the Priory of Sion to be a TOTAL SETUP. Apparently, all the parchment was actually FAKED by someone called Sherazade. Apparently, he himself confessed to the fact that it was supposedly some surrealist concept to be taken only as a joke, used solely to give credibility to his (false) claim that he was Merovingian!

2) There was an Italian story which actually mentioned the conept of "the grail" being a large golden plate that was used in the last supper. And before, that, it is found that there has NEVER been any historical references to ANY form of Grail!

3) A Leonardo Da Vinci expert also claims that The Da Vinci Code gives a wrong interpretation of the painting "The Last Supper". He found the entire concept that Leonardo would take so much trouble to hide any religious meaning in it "ludicrous". And when talking about the "V"-shape that supposedly represents the chalice, he feels that because letters can be extracted anywhere from all paintings, it does not have any special significance.

Now I'm no expert in history, but I think it hard that such a wide-reaching programme can lie about something as earth-shattering as this and not draw flack because of it. So, what has basically been said here, is that the historical fact that The Da Vinci Code is based on is false!!!

"Everyone loves a conspiracy"-indeed...

Poisoned by Love

2005-03-05T17:06:00.000Z

I have totally lost control of myself, and along with that the ability to pen my thoughts down in a properly coherent way. I must therefore apologise to all my loyal readers because I am going to leave this blog un-updated for a while as if I do try to update it all that is going to come out is undecipherable shite. Be back in perhaps....dunno? A week at the most I think. Just enough to let time and God do their good work.

I think this is currently wasted on me. At least its not in another week's time....

Crappy Poetry

2005-03-02T01:39:00.000Z

It is 2am in the morning and having just completed an essay on poetry my emotions are on high and I have decided to come up with the following...shite. Written in under 30mins, so please excuse the crappy quality.

Cupid-Masterful Torturer
Rosy-cheeked devil armed with a bow,
wielding arrows of purest poison
that rip through your heart,
leaves it bleed to death,
makes you go mad, trapped
in the prison of your mind.

Now I know why hearts are red.
They're stained, smeared, sullied
by blood we bled for nought,
by rancid sweat that eats their wounds,
by tears we cried to ourselves alone,
and needless toil,overworked, they choose
to let the blood in them go.

Dare you thnk who you really are,
what you cause in others you see?
The pain they feel through that evil machine.
Fool-an easy favour we ask of you.
Fly into a poisoned heart,
and enjoy the hell you caused, burned
by flames of needless passion.

For the record, I never bother to make any conscious effort in making my poems rhyme. The idea of forcing a word into something sounds a bit of a waste of time to me.

Bus Rants

2005-02-25T11:16:00.000Z

Upon request by fellow blogger Raymond to continue blogging, I've decided to give a short post before I present additional information pertaining to my research in Christianity. I am seriously honoured that this has actually attracted some positive attention. A big thank you to all my supporters out there!!! ^_^

Anyay, right now I wish to complain about something that has irked me immensely. For having to spend at LEAST 3 hours day on these monstrous machines 5 days a week, having to tolerate their eccentricities DAY IN DAY OUT it beginning to get quite annoying. So I present to you all a rant that I have been meaning to do for quite some time...on BUSES!!! And I will warn you now that there will be times in which I am going to get retarded.

Once in a while, I read on other's blogs on how weird the people on Singapore's buses can get. Now, London buses usually do not have weird people. The driver, however, is another issue altogether. And normally, it would not matter to me how eccentric one is. But when one is SO eccentric that his eccentricity makes one's journeying time annoyingly LONG, it DOES. And below, I list for you the most annoying habits that I have spotted London bus drivers posessing...

1)The Doormat Drivers
Everyone likes a doormat driver.Traffic police love him for abiding ever so strictly to traffic regulations, and his fellow road users even more for ALWAYS giving them the right of way. That of course in itself isn't at all bad, but if you actually STOP when you're not supposed to, you waste a whole lot of time, for yourself and the people around you, but save a few seconds of someone else's time. My friend, if YOU want to be a doormat because you life smelling everyone's feet on your face, please do so. But please do NOT do it when you are NOT driving alone!!!

2) The people with the strange sexual tastes
A highly passionate group of people who will stop at absolutely NOTHING to show their undying love for their object of desire, hence more often than not interfering immensely with their driving. Two groups exist, as detailed below...

a) Laneophiles
Great and immeasurable is the power of love indeed. For this group of people, getting hit by what must be one of Cupid's wonkiest arrows appears to have given them extraordinarily superhuman powers. For one of their senses-either their sense of touch or sight-is EXTREMELY finely-tuned. I mean, when you and I look at a road, we are unable to tell, even if we are given time to analyse them, the differences between one lane and another! Neither will we be able to feel the differences in vibrations caused by minute differences in the layout of the stones of one lane and another. Laneophiles, however, are able to do this! Why!? Because what else can cause them to stick ever so faithfully to just ONE lane-no matter how clogged-up that lane is!? They must be able to see sometihing awfully SPECIAL in the unique yet random arrangement of stones in that lane, or at least enjoy particularly the vibrations caused by travelling along them. And to be able to pick out such small differences as they driving!? I mean, like WOW!!! Razor-sharp eyes they have to pick it out to be able to see each pebble for its exact location! Extra sensitive Gluteus Maximi they must have to be able to detect the differences in vibrations that they cause to an object that is so mjuch bigger than it! And to actually find something to LIKE about all these differences!? Definitely a task a bit too difficult for mere mortals like us. Yet one must undoubtedly wonder-why do people with such powers have to become mere bus-drivers?! Enigmatic and unfanthomable is the power of love as well.....

b)Redophiles
Unlike laneophiles, redophiles do not have superhuman powers. Yet their sexual orientation is no less dubious. Because redophiles, as you may have guessed, are in desperate love with the colour RED. Look around and you will discover exactly how a lecher may act around his object of desire. He/she will go out of his way to get a glimpse of thm/her, and redophiles are no exception. And I have noticed that to them, the most attractive red is the shade emitted from TRAFFIC LIGHTS. Thus, if a traffic light is red when they approach it, they will stop to look(Duh!). If, however, a traffic light is green, they will deliberately SLOW DOWN as they approach the traffic light! Because we know and they know that after a certain period of time, a GREEN light will soon change RED. Thus, in hopes of seeing their crush, they are desperately hoping and praying that the light will change before they pass it! They can't stop at a green light, you see, because that will reveal exactly how desperate a redophile they are. And being someone who so loves the colour red is not exactly very good for one's social image! Neither will Ken Livingstone, Mayor for London Transport, want to employ people who will slow down all the buses. Thus lest they reveal their dubious passions, they need to show them in the most inconspicuous ways possible.

But look. Don't you pity those poor redophiles, suffering day by day from the torments of unrequited love!? What they need is something that can RESPOND. So red...hmm...say, why doesn't someone bring them a REDDLEMAN, say DIGGORY VENN!? (Return of the Native anyone?) They are covered in red! That way, redophiles can drive their buses in peace. Indeed, because they won't want to disappoint their newfound love, they'll NOT want to see red, thus causing them to actually dash past traffic lights before they change red! And when they get home, they can truly enjoy the fullness of a relationship with red that they have longed for all this while...

That's all I deemed noteworthy for now. On a side note, however, one thing I think commuters have to be thankful for is the fact that GREENOPHILES still, thankfully enough, do not exist-yet. But anyway it seems a short post becomes a really long one. My personal apologies for any brain cells of yours that this seriously retarded entry may have destroyed. Will be back with all my research on Christianity soon. Till then, ciao!

Mess

2005-02-18T01:24:00.000Z

I am majorly pissed off now. It has been a very eventful week doing work experience among other things, seeing and doing many very interesting things. And now:-

-First my discman breaks down when I get a new CD.
-Then I'm told I can't go for my concert this fri
-And THEN my dad HAS to shut down the com and erase the other, better blog post I was working on.

Something that memories of working in a surgery(actually a small clinic), going to a recording studio to see a friend and classmate play music to record for a new film, and socialising with her very hyperactive but enjoyable primary school kids cannot erase. It was all to me very enlightening and unique, but right now I'm just pissed off. Though a short and simple conversation with lit classmate, friend and new reader of this blog Louis has erased a substantial portion of my "annoyment". (Thanks dude!(= ) Cmon I can't be bothered with grammar of all things now, even when my Lit teacher Martyn Crucefix is reading. Probably a bit late, but hope you had a good 49th birthday. 11th Feb-I'll keep it here for reference next year. =P

Anyway the album I got was Shania Twain's Greatest Hits. It seemed a good idea after listening to the samples. It's a nice representation of the better end of modern day pop music, replete with lyrics talking about the same old theme of love, but infusd with some rather nice tunes. As I said, modern day pop is rarely this good, but it's quite far from the best muic I've heard. I give it 7/10.

On another note I'm sick and tired of facades. Who is willing to see a totally different side of me; not judge me and make me know that as with all my inhibitions released I make a complete fool of myself!?

Or wait...something tells me that's what I've been doing all this while. Anyway I'm going to bed now. Next I come, I will have to give that post on Christianity. Till then, my friends, tata!

The Beautifuk Triad

2005-02-03T14:56:00.000Z

And as usual after a really long absence, I have another haul of things to write about. Apologies for another long absence. I think I will be only blogging weekly nowadays. Thanks to a daily 2 hours journey home, I doubt I will be able to blog much more often than that. Today, it seems that everything I am going to say will be of particular interest to Ms Beautifuk, or at least issues that she had first introduced to me. There are 3 issues to be discussed...happy reading all!

Issue 1-An Averted Ice Age?
I came across this article in the London paper Metro not too long ago. In its exact words, some experts reckon we may have unwittingly saved ourselves from a new ice age...by interfering with the Earth's climate. Without the greenhouse gases we pump out, the global climate would be almost 2 celsius cooler-and we would be well on the way to full glacial temperatures, researchers found.

And how about that! A blessing in disguise it seems. It seems to me the ideal solution is to ensure the earth's climate does not change. With all the theories in Science Fiction about the world ending when th sun burn out, the emission of everyday greenhouse gases seems to be able to extend its life. However, it doesn't seem practical or possible to effectively control the WHOLE world's emissions though does it? And even so, poisonous gases floatng about the place for the sake of keeping it hot doesn't seem my best idea...I suppose Carbon Dioxide is a relatively harmless greenhouse gas though, and perhaps may be ideal for this purpose? Hmm...

Issue 2-British's Harland Sanders-Colonel of Cruel or otherwise?
You may be familiar with my previous entries how KFC has been slammed by PETA for grossly mistreating their chickens. It was quite enough to put me off fast food for a while, but there was one night in which ALL they bought was KFC. So bearing in mind that what a single organisation says may not be the truth, I began to eat, wondering if I could glean something out of its taste, and I did.

Because London has a wealth of its own farms that can deliver to all its restaurants and supermarkets fresh chicken, it is understandable how the majority of the meat here, be it chicken, lamb, eggs or even Salmon (Sashimiiii.......) and LIVE MUSSELS (absolute HEAVEN!) that I eat here is much fresher than Singapore's. KFC proved to be no exception. It was even cooked in a different way. The health-conscious British, who prefer breast meat to thigh meat, have made their KFC with much less oil. The skin was excellently flavoured, although with lots of flour, had a lovely buttery kick to it and was very nicely salted, nicely complenting the meat-much unlike Singapore's chicken. Even the side dishes were much more well-made. But to sidetrack a tad, there are many other fast food outlets that sell more than chicken here. One beside my school has 2 pieces of chicken and chips at 1.50 pounds, which is considered cheap here. It tastes quite like Singapore's KFC, and I eat it on a regular basis.

But back to British KFC. What struck me most of it was the similarity it posessed to the chicken that my mother buys from the supermarket. Save the difference in taste caused by cooking method, it tasted just about to be from the same chicken, with the same texture and all, or least chickens that were bred in the same way. You see, PETA accuses KFC of having its own chicken farms where chickens are grossly mistreated. But if what PETA says is true and they are for example being stored in such overcrowded conditions that they suffer from ammonia burns is true, would the meat not have been affected as well? Even if KFC had their own farms and used only those that were good enough to be used, it seems doubtful that they would be able to have a profit margin large enough to cover up all this losses.So this either means British supermarkets, like KFC, also mistreat their chickens, OR that they both get their chickens from the same farm! So does this mean Peta's accusations are flawed? There may be more to it than this. In any case 12 pcs out of like a million also isn't a very good sample size. But unless evidence to the contrary emerges (like say I find KFC screws up its meat) I think PETA has blown this issue all out of proportion! At the very least, I think British KFC is fine. I still won't be eating it on my own though. It seriously is quite expensive, and only the family offers are worth buying.

Issue 3-Judgementalism
Judgementalism is defined here as being judging someone from immediate impressions. It may not be altogether desirable but we all do it. By my psychological theory that one need not be aware of ideas before they take root in your mind and start influencing your actions, whenever you see someone doing something, your brain is immediatly gonna associate that with an associated impression. In other words, judgementalism is everywhere. As I write this blog, you may, consciously or subconsciously, be inferring from it what kind of person I am. Which is obviously not wrong, of course, but it would help explain the need for facades in life. Because you are almost ALWAYS being judged. Simple fact of life.

However, I've found out that there is NEVER smoke without fire. Everyone has a reason for making such judgemets. However, if we want to be impartial, we ust be able to tell when that smoke really is smoke, and when it is simply a cloud.

I will take the example of homosexuality to illustrate my case. Since my introduction to the concept of the...alternate Tomoyo in CCS, I have been particularly wary of this group of people that I do not belong to. OK, now, most people's knee-jerk reaction to this is one of revulsion, right? And the homosexuals would subsequently scream UNFAIR JUDGEMENTALISM! Homosexuals are not more "dirty" than you or me! I have been wondering whether or not this is true. I still have no definite answer but I can see the smoke that caused he accusations quite clearly-after a visit to Soho Square, London's CHINATOWN.

Soho Square is also home to many homosexuals-something which I found out after seeing pictures in a newspaper of people there waving rainbow-coloured flags during their festival termed Gay Pride. Most importantly, however, Soho Square is also one of London's red-light districts! Is there supposed ot be a link, homosexual town and red light district? Perhaps this is what creates such impressions of homosexuals? But wait, there are more instances...

Because a Sunday Paper offered with it a CD that had some songs in it that I liked, I bought it. The CD was ok, but the paper was ABSOLUTE RUBBISH. Remember the name if you ever come here and do NOT approach at any instance without anything less explosive than a WMD-NEWS OF THE WORLD. Hah....I want REAL news man, do I look like I care who the heck SIMON COWELL is going out with, or pictures of women in hardly any outfit!? But anyway this paper had a story it it about a lesbian who was dating a transexual guy, ie a guy who wants to undergo a sex change to become a girl.

The idea of the relationship mentioned in the lesbian story is bizzare enough. Add that to the fact that it is placed in a tabloid intended mainly for gossip and deprived individuals and it does look like some kind of well...freak show! Now the paper promised cash rewards if people had their true story published. Evidently the girl sent that story in. And for 500 pounds, she would undubtedly be judged harshly by many, lost some dignity, and brought down the image of homosexuals one more notch. I suppose it's possible that all that matters to her is that she's happy with hereself, which is good. However, consider this-the paper also had a story of a vet who feels she can talk to her animal patients. Would the vet also bee seen as a "freak"? No-being able to heal animals with such skill would be admirable! But while both wanted to boast to the world "Look at me for being able to do this!", the lesbian seems to have forgotten that judgementalism is always at work. Does she really care that little about her dignity? I hope not...

.
At least people here haven't started associating Chinese with lecher yet...can't believe Soho Square, the London Chinatown, could be so awfully dismal. The restaurants, especially, are particularly HORRENDOUS! What the heck...my mom can make quality food good enough to sell here I should think! Anyway...I don't think we will be able do judge this homosexuality issue, or indeed much else with any accuracy because we don't know enough about it. But to be honest, do we need to? We do not have enforce our morals upon others unless what that guy's doing is clearly wrong are we? Everyone will eventually have to answer to God-or if you're a free thinker, then at the very least their conscience. In other words, who cares if lesbians start dating transsexuals, or if that guy you saw is really an opium-smoking gangster? Avoid any unnecessary judging because we have little hope of getting an accurate picture. If you want to know more or try to help someone, you will need to do it slowly. If you don't never cross paths with him again. Simple as that. The world already has enough formal judgmentalism going on-what with exams, interviews etc. So let's just take a little break and not get involved in another unnecessary dilemma of judgementalism, shall we?

That's the end of it for now. I really have to hit the hay...it's like 3.20am now...and I need to go out tomorrow. At least the good news for me is that my Piano-a Yamaha Clavinova CLP150 is coming this coming Tuesday! WHOOOOOT!!! I await with growing impatience this much anticipated day...I have been dying to try out Andrew Lloyd Webber's songs for Phantom Of the Opera the Musical(It ROCKS this earth) which I just watched.

Right then, with my head full of the intoxicating Musics of the Night, I shall take my leave right now. Till I next blog about Christianity and the Da Vinci Code again, goodbye!

BTW: To my favourite blog links I've added a nickname of my own invention. Some names need changing; others need adding, but that will come another time. But if you don't like the name I've given you, please let me know.

Assorted Ramblings

2005-01-20T12:47:00.000Z

Finally got the mood to write again. Apologies for the long absence. Coincidentally enough many of my favourite blogs also came to a sudden standstill the moment Azrul's blog shut down. Right now though there are many things I want to talk about, one wonders what I should start with first...

I'll start with the most recent, seemingly most boring facts first. Just had a Statistics exam-Edexcel Module S1 for normal A level Maths. Botched quite a bit of the paper to be honest, losing at least 8 marks of a total 75. Around 80% is required for an A, but the grade boundary may change according to how well the cohort performs. I suppose I still have my chances but I doubt I'm headed for anything solidly satisfactory. Arrgh...Maths sux, even when it's easy, because of irritating tendencies to write things like 3 X 3=6. Indeed it is THE one subject that has caused me to lose more marks than the rest of my other subjects put together!!! Grr...

Enough about that crap now anyway. I'm annoyed enough as it is to have lost my copy of Return of the Native along with my bookmark and all my notes in it. Let's not go into that now though or I will be strongly tempted to swear. Instead, I rather feel like looking at the tests I've done before. No not academic tests, but rather certain personality tests that I've done on the web recently.

I'll start with the most monumental one-a test for transexuality. It is a long story as to how and why I took it and I shan't go into that now. Suffice it to say that I had rather commit suicide than become the next CHS guy who goes for a sex change. Neither am I gay. That being said, the result may be somewhat unique. Apparently, they classified me as "Androgyne, with a character independent of the qualities of both sexes," That seems somewhat right I suppose. I mean, find me a boy who likes Lit and is somewhat fond of CCS, for example. So anyway I shared the result with my parents, and their reaction was an immediate "NONONONONONONO!!! That website is sooooo wrong...you're not any girl at all...."

Or something of that sort anyway. I pressed on to find out their reasons for saying that, and gathered that they feel that such websites "influence" people. Well I'm not influenced by a result like that. And I think anyone else who's reading this is also intelligent enough to distinguish when a site is blabbering absolute crap about someone they've never met before as well.

Though teenagers would continue in similar vein when they go out late, yet cannot reply when their parents get visited by policemen the next day. And indeed it is an opinion worh considering. From what I observe of myself and many others, psychological processes in the brain do not necessarily have to be tangible, distinguishable thoughts before they are able to manifest themselves and wreak havoc in your mind. In other words, in this case, a person who is not transexual but gets a result telling them that he is, needs not look at it and consciously say something like "Hmm...perhaps I've been judging myself wrong all along." The result will stick in his mind and stay there, and it being there will be able to exert a subconscious spin upon all his daily actions that he becomes what he actually is not. It's just like how people get influenced by watching violence on TV. They don't need to go "That looks fun/all right to do etc" before they go on another chainsaw massacre. An innate programme in man causes us to emulate everything that goes around us-that's why humans are born helpless yet can grow up to learn so fast. And like our other animal instinct of reproduction, its elusive presence makes it all the more insidious, and only those who are keenly aware of their emotions are able to clamp down upon it, decide it is crap, then chuck it away.

But let's move on to another type of test- the type that persuades you to take it and promises a wish if you send it to X people. Here are my results of one I found particular interesting as well as popular (even someone in London sent it to me recently), along with what they mean.

1) 5-lucky number

2) 8600-no to tell about game before wish comes true

3) (Couldn't think of anyone)-The person whom you romantically love-LOL!!!

4) Zi Cheng-care most about

5) Clement-knows me very well

6) Between Vincent and my Dad-lucky star

7) Mum? -like but can't work out (Do I look like I've an Oedipus complex!?)

8(Song) Nothing's gonna change my Love for you- match with person no 3

9(Song) Beautiful soul- for person no 7

10(Song) CCS Song Tooi kono machi de(In this distant town)- tells one most about your mind

11(Song) A Cantonese opening version of CCS-your feelings about life

Some obviously don't make sense-how am I supposed to tell 8600 people about this, for example!? Others are fairly accurate-no 10 being about home hit the nail on the head (believe it or not I'm homesick for Sg), and songs 8 and 9 would look like those intended for the type of people they were meant for, though as you can see I obviously didn't handle love very well. As for 4-6, well I suppose at that time I was talking to Vincent, so my mind was actually on my old CHS friends. And I find it immensely interesting I had no answer to 3! lolZ, but I can just imagine some crazy, doubt-laced girl/guy who tries to get their "soulmate" to do the quiz and hopes their name appears there! Man...oh well at least since I'm "unattached", I won't have anyone to answer to, eh? =P

Anyway as you can see it was, to a respectable degree, accurate. Add that to the fact that by looking ahead while doing the questions and you gotta wonder how they do it!? I suppose the most decent explanation I can probably think of would probably be related to instinctive reactions to each number, maybe something like because 10 is a nice round number you'd be motivated to associate it with something close to your heart? That probably might not be totally accurate but I doubt it's too far off the mark. If that is the case though, some psychologist out there must be REALLY bored...Anyway in case I have no mood to start posting for another long while, check this site out. Discovered it from another friend's blog. It's a seriously hard vocab test on which I scored the 47th percentile (below average arrgh!). Unless you're an Azrulean demigod, you may learn something new from it or the other tests there.

LOL~Azrulean demigod =) That reminds me of that time in which I spoke of the "Dennisian demigod", named after top student in CHS with ultra 1337 Japanese skills. Was talking about the process one has to go through to obtain a Japanese PR. If I don't remember wrongly it's like this...
-First, you need to to score Level 1, the highest qualification in a recognised Japanese proficiency test.
-Then you need to qualify for a Jap university, then attend courses there for a number of hours before you graduate.
-You then need a company to employ you, and actually be willing to endorse you before you can change your student visa to a working visa.
-Lastly, after living for about 3-5 years in Japan, you can apply for PR, during which the government will an officer to your hose. He/she will examine your lifestyle, to check if you're truly "Japanese" in your lifestyle and behaviour. They may even question your neighbours and associates on this.
-If you meet the 30-40% chance of success, you can get your PR.

.................................................

Now Behold THE rant of all time, consisting of ANY and EVERY manner of typing sin EVER known to mankind!!!

LIKE WtF MANZ1?1/?!?!/1//!!1/1? IsNt SG SuX CRAPZZZZ UnD3M0Cr4T1C 3n0uGh WIF nS OMG WTF LOL?/1!11! WaH pIaNg XIAZX...Y mUz R3sTr1cT UNTIL LyK tt HaHhhhh..........ppL3 W4N 2 WORK AND EARN $$$ 4 U OSO d0w4n OMg wTf LOLx. I m34N, I n03 CulTuR3 Is imPt but lyK 30-40 OmG wtF tt IS lyK STR1CT LOL1/?!?!/1?! BcOS I Lyk Jp n AlLZ n lyK b33n PoLit3 and Jpn3s3 BuT LyK SOOOOO Strict HOW tO GET IF noT luckY1?!/1/!/1/1/LIGHTEN UP A BIT plZzZzzZzzZ!? DuN D3NY diS poor 2M0Y0 WOrShIpPER e Ch4nC3 2 eXp e CHANCE 2 Live It UPZXZXZX and ENJOY hiS SuShi etc plZzXzZxZXZzxXZ omgwtflol1.>!?!?/1

Looks Like American aolian but isn't totally american aolian. Looks English, isn't truly English. Looks frivolous teenage typespeak but isn't 100% frivolous teenager typespeak. In the unlikely event that Japanese officials visit this site, perhaps THAT will ensure that they would not understand it, hence ensuring I still have a chance of staying there for a while.....

Right. That's all I have to say for now. I have quite a few other things to talk about, but I'm running out of time right now. Annoying school com isn't able to type Japanese here so I'll have to contend with Romaji for now....
Ja, Mata ne! =)

Me

2005-01-05T10:38:00.000Z

A torrent of conflicting emotions surround me as I type this post. First, I wanted to make it a long draggy rant about my boring life, then wanted it to dedicate it to the goodness of music which had helped me through this time after that feeling had quite substantially dwindled, and now I feel well...weird when I realise that one of my favourite blogs (Azrul's) will really shut down soon. Darn. Another of those little things that have been almost a part of me since my knowledge of them a major inspiration for me and my soul now graciously takes its leave. Save the thank yous my friend, it truly has been my honour as much as yours.

And as the magically ensnaring sounds of Yoru no Uta and Hitotsu Dake of CCS fill my ears, I sit back and relax as the quagmire of emotions gradually melts away to form one benign lump of seriously undecipherable stuff. I don't much feel like trying to unravel it now, and shall let the harmless blob be blown away slowly by the winds of time, only to be replaced soon after by another blob when the cycle completes once more. For such is life. Tsunami or Earthquake, As or Bs, birthday party or countdown party, it goes on.

I hope I shall no longer feel the willing servant turned mindless robotic slave of education. Since I typed the first part of this post like rats to the Pied Piper's flute it drifts away to the ensnaring music.

I feel at peace now. Especially after some classmates, after seeing what I have typed seem to think me boxed out of my mind for writing such superfluous crap to apparently no one. LOL- nothing like a good laugh, is there? I see their point though. This is beginnning to look like a suicide note of some sort or thingy. So perhaps I should stop.

Amidst both light and darkness, may the cogs of life turn even more smoothly this 2005 for everyone out there. A belated Happy New Year to everyone out there!!!

Lessons in Alternative Lterature-by CCS on Influence

2004-12-27T19:51:00.000Z

Muahahaha...yes my friends, it's the almighty 5337 CARD CAPTOR SAKURA! I've decided to finally let loose, go stark raving bonkers and adorn this blog with what could probably not be a more incongruous backdrop. I mean, you'd probably expect someone with such a blog to StArT TyPiNg LyK DiS. BuT I DoWaN bCoS dEn SOOOOOOO HaRd to ReaD, So I SToP LIAOZZZZ, k3K3???

Because lets face it-Card Captor Sakura was targeted at girls probably no older than 13 who are gullible enough to lap it all up and adorn their blogs with similar skins and go DIE SAKURA SYAORAN IS MINEzzZ (or perhaps Yukito, Lyn? =P)!!! So sue me for having pursued this series with undying passion for the past 2 years or more, and unabashedly proclaiming that it has played a major role in the nurturing my passion for not just anime but also Science, all forms of Literature, Music and more. Seriously crazy the amount of influence one single anime could have on a person's life. They obviously weren't joking in GP lessons about the power of the mass media.

Though it's ironic my tendency to overanalyze CCS led to my gradual depreciation of the original anime. In all honesty, on a scale of 10 I think it deserves no more than 7.5. Cheap marketing techs like coincidental Christmas birthdays and annoyingly overused clichés make the show lose its value if you rip it down to such intricate details as I have. Though its drawings were nice and most of its songs mind-blowing, the storyline was just cheap. Perhaps what keeps my interest is the toying with ideas on that fanfic I'm working on. CCS seems to have had this certain allure that grabs me. I have not been able to identify it and at any rate it still seems very much there.

But perhaps unbeknownst to the 12 year olds who've sworn their hearts to all them Bishounens might be CCS's darker side. According to Wilkipedia , due in part to its animation, CCS also has a wide fanbase in the internet, particularly in the Yaoi, Yuri (gay and lesbian) and Lolicon (sexual/erotic representations of underage girls) fandom. A link to the definition for Lolicon is also given there, accompanied by a picture that is thankfully enough not too explicit.

I'm not surprised of the existence of CCS Yaoi and Yuri. I'd known about how many like to think that Tomoyo likes Sakura and how Touya likes Yukito in such a sense. I was first introduced to the idea when I saw it on the message board http://www.sakuramb.com/. It shocked me outta my skin when I saw it and what followed was an animated debate with me opposing both notions, and almost everyone who came opposing me. I doubt I convinced anyone in the end but they in turn failed in convincing me. The end result was a sorta compromise that everyone was entitled to their own opinion before some technical fault happened to the board and it temporarily shut down.

http://www.sakuramb.com/ is up again. CCS, however, has been reduced to a little corner and is rarely talked about. Some of its regulars are people who would openly give the thumbs up for porn, and self-proclaimed homophobes are immediately subjected to a torrent of insults about being prejudiced. I can live with homosexuality but porn!? NO WAY. I gave a post slamming it (see here).The dude who rebutted me seemed to take it as a personal attack, which it seriously wasn't. However, since to date I got the last word, I suppose that means they'd accepted my view for now.

And even the people who watch porn are against sexual abuse of children, I'd probably be even more so. So my knee-jerk reaction to CCS being attributed to Lolicon sectors of fandom was understandably "How DARE you defame CCS like that!!!" I shouldn't have been surprised either however. My apologies Sakura, I'm gonna ditch political correctness from now on. Look at how long their skirts are. Even Tomoyo's costume designs reveal surprising amounts of leg. Though the boys are properly dressed, the girls' costumes aren't likely to have been an accident. Tomoyo I had more faith in you, you know! LOL, of course how she thinks is controlled by CLAMP, but tell me-is this a causative agent of a Japanese society that is often associated with Hentai and short skirts or is it a by-product of it? In other words, which came first-the chicken or the egg?

Short skirts notwithstanding, CCS is the picture of innocence. There aren't any bad guys or displays of evil. Even the antagonists (who aren't "bad" here) perform their deeds with motives often related to virtues such as love and duty. And in the end, everyone lives happily ever after. Not all anime may be as feel-good as CCS, but I think many of them-or at least many of CLAMP's are drawn in similar ways-IE with similar clothing. And Clamp's popularity is by no means small. It's the classic influence by mass media scenario-people see extreme violence, people try it out for themselves. Except this time, the violence is replaced by skimpy clothing and its something hidden beneath layer upon layer of wooly feel-good themes that does not make it very easily detectable.

The beauty of anime is its ability to hide a million and one complex themes, both good and bad, within the innocent facade of animation. The average Hollywood cartoon is straightforwardly simple-it's either 101% kiddy like Toy Story or slightly more- like Batman or Spider Man cartoons, which have a bit more violence, but neither of which appeared as a cartoon on the silver screen. Thus kids, perhaps even ill-informed parents as well, have in their mind that cartoons are good and suitable. It's this mindset that's likely to make them accept everything they see in innocent anime/cartoons and if normal films can exert such influences what more cartoons? So young Japanese girls start wearing short skirts and come to forums and people start telling them that porn is OK and that homophobes are idiots. Not all forums are like Sakura MB and exert age restrictions on unsuitable content. Like those will work that well-but at least they try. But in any case, it's up to you to imagine what happens when they don't.

It was just one innocent-looking anime, but while it brought out the best in me, it could also have brought out the worst in others. Just fascinating that a single show could hold so much. Alternative Literature-perhaps that's what keeps me coming back to CCS in hopes for more. I think I've totally drained this anime of its literary juices though. Try giving me one of those CCS quizzes and tell me to assume the persona of Sakura/Tomoyo/Eriol etc. I can assure you that I can do it with my eyes shut and get the exact same response you requested for. LOL...it doesn't seem that CCS upped their linguistic skills much. I think in terms of the general CCS fan base, the area that CCS helped them in is IT. Many CCS/anime fans make absolutely breathtaking web layouts. Obviously not me though. =X

Anyway, cheers all-to the anime that started it all, and a very happy 2005 for everyone in advance!!!

Christmas mini-post

2004-12-26T00:48:00.000Z

Arrgh...no time to do that other Alternative Literature post again. Com's not been avaliable much recently. Anyway, I think I wasn't in time for posting before Singapore's Christmas ended. Stupid time difference. LOL, anyway here's to a belated Happy Christmas to everyone out there, but in particular the following 2 people.

-Yukito Tsukishiro of Card Captor Sakura, whose birthday somewhat sorta coincidentally happens to fall on Christmas Day!!! Aww.....

-Teo Zi Cheng, ex CHS clssmate currently in VJC, whose birthday happens to fall on Christmas day too!!! Was his birthday rigged? Hmm...

A very happy birthday to you 2 as well!!!

Am feeling particularly retarded now. That's what happens when you abstain from Singapore's crazy education system...

More lessons by X on Human Worth

2004-12-22T11:16:00.000Z

Right! Finally get the computer to myself. Yet even so I'm typing in the dark because my cousin's sleeping on the bed behind me. But who cares, I'm bored and if I don't get this in soon I never will.

Let me first address Vhemt's stand-the statement I ended my previous post with. You may have seen Strider's comments (see his site http://www.estelazure.blogspot.com/ for more) on how this is an unfair comparison-true, I'd say. But there is anther point Vhemt seems to have conveniently left out-that you WILL have SOME control over what your child turns out. And as a parent, YOU are the one to make sure that when your family has a child, you do NOT have it when both of you are 16+ and that when you have it, you ARE ready for the responsibilities that comes with the hectic task of bringing a new life into this world, need not have a foolproof formula on how to turn your child into the next Nobel Prize-winning president, but at least are willing to put in as much effort into it necessary so that he gets as close to that pinnacle of success as he can. Sure, it'd be well unfair for one to blame parents for people turning out as criminals, but don’t you think they’d have some control over their child's morals? It'd be easy enough for a parent to say oh, my son turned out bad because fate/genes (their genes)/etc made it so. But to follow the first rule of "Highly Effective Teens" by Sean Covey, YOU are the force, and should be willing to do as main things as possible in your circle of control (upbringing) to nullify those that are in your circle of no control (child’s innate character etc.) In other words, to use Vhemt’s statement as a reason for not having children is A DELEGATION OF PARENTAL DUTY.

Now I do not think there is anything wrong with this at all. It signifies that you know that a baby isn't just for Christmas. So what if one of our main instincts is to reproduce? Some of us have brains and you probably do. After all, as many parenting magazines would proclaim, motherhood ain't for wimps. Your parents probably had a right job to make you clever enough to be able to read and understand this, and giving you an internet and computer at your disposal as well at that! Not everyone will have the physical, emotional and temporal resources necessary to raise a child even to such a level and if you don't, do us a favour and don’t and let those who can and want to take over-for now.

On to the case of the Humboat Squid. Let us first examine how a typical animal would behave if placed in the fishermen’s position. It needs food, so it hunts-except the fishermen would hunt for cash. The squid are probably the most profitable to catch-large creatures with lots of expensive meat that is a delicacy in Japan so the animal bends over backwards to try to catch them. And this, my friends, is where the dividing line seems to be drawn.

The average animal, possessing the strength and agility of humans, would probably find the Humboats impossible to catch. Thus they either turn to another source for prey and leave the Humboats alone. Humans, however, have their defining weapon with them-their intelligence. They invent jigs-a brutal fishing method that makes the catching of them deadly efficient, and the story thus turns out as it is today.

You would by now have realized how the behaviour of a human is so similar to that of a normal animal. It would be unfair to blame the fishermen for hunting the Humboats to the best of their ability, yet say a lion hunting a deer is OK. The fishermen behaved exactly how their instincts told them to behave and any other animal would have behaved in the same way. There’s valuable prey, you try your best to catch it. Except the fishermen would prove more capable because they could invent jigs and thus be able to catch them more efficiently. This will reveal 2 main issues.

First, we realize how similar man is to animals. The immediate reaction to this is that it's a cynical view point that states that man is a lowly, animalistic life form. Whether or not this is true is now irrelevant, because I am going to ask you-why this assumption? Are you saying that all non-humans are lowly life forms? Seriously now, why all this prejudice against animals? From your backyard in your own little dog, at the zoo with monkeys that learn sign language or even with the normally surprisingly intelligent Humboats, animals aren't all as such! In other words, it doesn't seem that much degrading to realize that one’s behaviour is similar to an animal. The desire to thrive is not animalistic-it's motivation. Following intelligent instincts is not animalistic-it's intuition and from what I hear women find it a most useful tool. Neither is the desire to try your best to stay ahead-that's common sense! I mean, no one will deliberately lose in the Olympic Games, is (s)he?

OK, moving on. Just saw Ms Beautifuk's post on the tagboard made some time back, which alerted me to the fact that Vhemt's claim actually des not revolve around the well-being of the environment, since cancer and rape of human beings isn't the earth's business. However, I still feel that the same arguement applies-people want to get ahead, become comfortable etc, they bend over backwards to do that. Only thing that stops other animals from acting the same way is their limited intelligence, which brings me to my second point.

The fact that humans are the smartest creatures to walk this earth is exactly what has caused the environmental destruction. Perhaps Spider Man's cliched "With great power comes great responsibility" would come to mind here. We have a obligation to preserve the earth and the excuse that we are following our instinicts when we destroy it does not apply because we are well aware of this destruction. So as prevously established the smallest daily action further accentuates the fact that this responsibility has been delegated by many.

Vhemt's option of human extinction seems much like a suicide note by some frivolus teenager- "Oh, I am so damned the world has no use for me so farewell!" You nut-that's an even further delegation of your responsibility! Unless you're convinced you are unable to nurture your child into an environmentally-conscious indvidual, that is obviously still not an excuse. It is the humans' very intelligence that causes them(us?) to be in the best position to help with environmental restoration.

So I think its important to remember here what is within our circle of control. Idiotic and selfish corporate bigshots who dump toxic waste into oceans are not. Unfortunate it is that a few of them are all it takes to make an entire company of people guilty. The way you nurture your children and the time that you choose to have them, however, are, so control them wisely.

A 17 year old tallking about family planning and nurturing of children-now that IS weird!!!

A lesson in Alternative Literature-by X on human worth

2004-12-15T15:41:00.000Z

My mock exams are finally over. Chemistry was boring as usual, Biology was interestingly hard, Maths was just plain annoying, but English Lit was seriously fun! Anyway, the computer room in my school is finally available, so here's the article I wrote. This is the factual evidence-as to how I respond to this I will talk about another time, the post is already ridiculously long.

The thing that got me thinking was the anime movie X. Though it may seem draggy at times, that was probably because it failed in its primary motive-getting you to think, to ponder the storyline and ideas it introduces. This, along with a handful of other techniques, help make the anime a thinking one. If you are one who always thinks about what you are watching you will find this anime quite appealing. It was also a real eye-opener, its using of these techniques making it an excellent case study for Alternative Literature. Violence, for example, was used quite effectively; skillfully manipulating emotions with it to exacerbate the sense of sheer waste and suffering that was the central idea of the anime as a whole. I feel, however, that there are too few issues raised to make this anime "good" solely because of its intellectual worth.

The storyline in X is a simple one-there are 2 sides-the dragons of earth, dedicated to the purification of earth through the purging of mankind, and the dragons of heaven, dedicated to stopping the former from accomplishing their objective. It is thus easy to draw a line between the 2, separating them entirely with the dragons of heaven being "good" and the dragons of earth being "bad". An issue raised here, though, is that if this is really fair.

It is easy enough to separate the 2 as such in the film, as certain things that are done in the movie are quite able to make you feel as such. The protagonist, Kamui Shirou, for example, joins the Dragons of Heaven. Furthermore, we are also shown the argument of the Dragons of Heaven first, thus giving their case added "clout" in a viewer’s eyes. Even without these techniques, it is still easy to make such a distinction. After all, killing of all humans!? So much death and destruction! Of course that’s bad!

But is it? Yesterday, I watched a documentary about "killer squid". The species examined in particular was a certain species called the Humboat, whose main dwelling place is a sea off the Mexican coast. Fishermen there fear the creature more than sharks and tell stories about how many have met a horribly grisly fate under this "sea monster" It has also been known to exhibit cannibalism, painting a picture of it being a lethal, remorseless killing machine that eats anything that moves.

The documentary, however, continues to say how the Humboat is fished extensively and in an extremely violent, similarly grisly way called jigging. When the squid was observed away from the threat of being jigged by fishermen in their natural habitat (supposedly for the 1st time) though, the divers observed them to be peaceful, playful creatures that exhibited astounding intelligence-quite unlike the picture the fishermen painted. What thus emerges is that the squid’s viciousness is thus a defensive reaction to being overfished, which you have to admit makes sense. In other words, humans are the ones that made the squid turn violent.

All this devaluation of human beings could not have come at a more appropriate time. Ms Beautifuk's and Fr0's blogs also offer ocassionally the flip side of the story, and I have even seen an organization- www.vhemt.org -with the motto "May we live long and die out". It advocates humans to stop having children on similar grounds.

"Because after all, your next child has a higher probability of becoming a serial rapist than finding a cure for AIDS or cancer."

So what do you all think? Tag tag tag!!!

Marriage?

2004-12-12T12:41:00.000Z

Very nice story-akin to the type you find on Friendster Bulletin Boards, but infinitely more well-written. Read it!

http://ehran.blogspot.com/2004/11/marriage.html

Couples

2004-12-11T00:48:00.000Z

FINALLY managed to decipher computer language and learn myself how to attach links!Seriously pissed at the school computers now though. I craft an article, upload it to my mail so I can round it off at home, and am later told the uploaded file has a virus!!! It had better still be there when I get back! Let's talk about something else now...

Anyway I am mighty pleased to have managed to contact a fair few other Sec School classmates while on one of my sessions of blog browsing. I seem to like doing that, because blogs are windows to the soul, a way to ope up the infinite book of secrets that each and every one of us has. Am also discovering how everyone else has eveolved. Seems I'm not the only one to seems that has ditched me "secondary school self". Well after all I suppose now we are all in different environments, such evolution is justified. But anyway, welcome all of you to this me humble abode! For those that are still in the dark, I'm in London studying right now. WIll try to be back either next year CNY or the June hols. Will hope to see you all then!

Down to today's topic. Stop laughing already, this is not about me. Just happened to be a part of the following highly unique incident...

As I arrived at my school's common room today, I was greeted by Rutvi, a girl who appeared somewhat excited about something then. I held the following conversation with her...

Rutvi (Pointing at my other classmates): Did they tell you that I was going out with Umayr!?

Other classmates: Well she is!

R: No I'm not! I'm going out with the guy wearing the hat! (Points at another guy named Amar. He seemed to be wearing his cap in such a way that the rim partially covered his face, like some kind of Rock star guys who probably feels it gives them a sense of mystery.)
I'll prove it to you...(hugs Amar, then kisses him on his face, which he seems to return)

Others: Nonono! She's lying, she's lying!

R: Marcus what do you think?

Well the others had indeed told me about that story of Rutvi and Umayr, who is a good friend of mine here, thought they conveniently mixed up Umayr and Amar's names, saying that Umayr's name is pronunced like Amar because that's how Indians pronounce it. Out of boredom one day I asked Umayr about it and was told, with an interesting mixture of annoyed amusement, that it was otherwise, and so replied wth....

Me(Somewhat playfully): All I can say is that I think it's very easy to see in this college if someone's together or not...

R: THANK YOU!!! (Again she hugs Amar and they smother each other with a few more kisses)

Me: Yes, yes...very...marriage-like...

No one was listening now though, so, thoroughly amused, I shrugged and left.

Indeed it is altogether too easy to see if someone here is together or not. What I wonder though, is why in the world tell me this for!?

LOL, London-such an interesting place...

Destination Oxbridge?

2004-12-09T12:12:00.000Z

Arrgh I hate Hate HATE the darn school coms here that actually have limited internet usage of 20400KB per day. Yes as you can see I even remember the quota because I always see it!! Darn it, sorry anyone who's been suddenly cut off when talking to me...well now you know the reason! But honestly, even YJC's computers were beter! And with the amounts you pay there, well I suppose you can't blame Mr Ganesh THAT much for dreaming up silly economy drives can you?

Anyway Mocks are approaching for me-they're something like prelims. The real thing is done in 6 separate modules-3 of which are done each year. If you read one of my previous entries you'll see what I thought about studying here and cheating. I don't know but as my dad says that ain't really the case. The reason about the comparatively easier papers here are because of the wider spread of abilities caused by London's much bigger population. And besides, the grade boundary for As here is at least 80% though it's sometimes determined by looking at a specific quantile of the overall country's final score-perhaps the top 80% or something?

*Following this paragraph is mindless crap. You have been forewarned.*
I don't know, have I really been so obsessed with failure? Perhaps the nagging fear of complacency or something that I won't "be the best" in Singapore or something? The teachers here once said that they want to prepare me for Oxbrige-that means either Oxford or Cambridge(Common enemy of Singaporean students and teachers alike!) University... Hmm...

Not too long ago typing that would have been a big no-no. I have been brought up such that I often hesitate to reveal much "personal info", the logic being that someone will most definitely have either something to say about it, or some way to use that information to your disadvantage in the near future.

Oxbridge? HAO LIAN AH!!! *Dreams me being squashed under a bus*

Ohh believe me my friends I too have often done that sort of thing myself... Where else might a bruised head get you???

Have I been making any sense at all? Perhaps it's a good thing, then, that I can't think of anything else to crap about now.

I will write about X soon, borrowed from Diyana Abbasali. Have been immensely fortunate enough to meet fellow Anime fan-WOOT! Am also reading this "Jing-King of Bandits" as well.

But you all enjoy your after-promo life. Will look forward to see you all soon!

BTW: Does anyone know how to Tag on Robin's blog?

Awake at 4am

2004-11-30T04:12:00.000Z

"You don't need a reason to help people"- Zidane Tribal of FFIX

"You may not need a reason to help people, but whether or not they will accept your help is entirely another matter altogether"-Me

"Good guys finish last"-Mr Spencer when teaching Antony and Cleopatra, along with countless others.

What do you think?

Christian Science

2004-11-28T00:04:00.000Z

I have not been blogging for quite a while. Perhaps it's just my lingering feeling that no one reads what I write here but I have no interest in posting crappy, nonsensical articles that I am in no mood to write. But of course if you feel what I have been producing is the abovementioned tell me how to improve-I want to up my writing skills.

But I want to talk about Christianity today. It's been an issue I've been wanting to discuss for a long time since I read The Da Vinci Code-a simply stunning book that made the following claims-
1) The Holy Grail is not the cup of Christ.
2) Jesus had a son by Mary and their descendants exist even today.
3) The Bible had been modified and that which we read today an abridged version.
4) The Holy Grail actually refers to Mary and the item itself is a collection of documents/scientific evidence that proves No. 2 true.
I pondered the following ever since they had been presented to me and come up with the following conclusion-IMPOSSIBLE. And I have proof that extends from the Bible-Scientific Evidence from a Science student, if you will.

It was the form of the evidence that seems really dubious. I can't remember if it was in the form of documents or scientific evidence but it doesn't matter-it cannot exist. Say it was documents-and what proof is there that your version is the correct one? As for scientific evidence, well the only form of this I can think of is DNA sequencing-matching of DNA from the offspring and the parents. This will be much more complicated considering the number of chiasmata formed since the number of generations since Jesus Christ but my Biology knowledge is probably not complete-perhaps it can be done. But even then, we will still need some part from both Jesus and Mary-perhaps a strand of hair or a fingernail. Age here is not a factor-Egyptians have pioneered excellent preservation techniques long before then. Thing is, however, would they know that this needs to be done? DNA sequencing obviously did not exist then, and how would they then know that it would help today? What sort of scientific evidence may prove it then? As far as my knowledge reaches, none exists. Is my knowledge flawed though? Perhaps, but I'll have to see this evidence to believe it.

The book, however, has been inspiration for me to start searching for scientific evidence for Christianity. I still believe in God and Jesus of course, but such evidence will help reinforce everyone's faith a million times over! The question is, though, does this exist?

A good start to this search, I decided, would be the theory on Evolution. I didn't care too much for this when Ivan tried convincing others that it was untrue, but right now it may be a powerful foil to my case if an appropriate answer found. I started with a pastor's take on the matter that Ivan had sent me some time ago-50 arguments against it. He appeared to me to fail miserably even after 5 though, making too many assumptions amidst a very heart-based argument. And why does he keep calling monkeys brutes!? They too are creatures of God, you know! Back to the drawing board, then, though I will continue reading that article until I am convinced every last shred of argument of his has been disproved. You never know, there may be something helpful in it.

My other theory has been if a unification of both theories is possible. Apparently, one already exists-that evolution came only AFTER creation. How do we explain creation using Science, though? Another mystery, another answer, and along with it, another million more mysteries waiting with growing impatience to be solved. And my Evolution problem can’t be totally dismissed yet. Irritatingly enough though, they'll only teach it early 2006. I can't wait that long…where's my brother's textbook!?

That's all I can say about my progress now I suppose. Sometimes I feel that if my sudden interest in science has been because God wants me to solve this mystery. Frankly though I have no idea if an answer even exists! I may be leading a wild goose chase, but as in Science, I am going to prove something false before we make any more assumptions.

But in the meantime, I'll let you enjoy the following other blogs lest this place experience yet another long dearth in entries. Pity me, the IT flop who does not know how to attach links!!! LOL, anyway, I am proud to present the following…
Blogs of Friends-enjoy your after-promo life all!
-Clement Wu- http://www.siparage.blogspot.com/
-A friend who does not wish to be named- www.down-with-the-sc.blogspot.com
-Yumirei Tsukimiya- http://www.yumirei.blogspot.com/
-Ian and Yan Cheng- long-lost friends from MI- http://iancheng.diaryland.com/

Blogs that make good reads-I've learnt from these probably more things than Brampton College has taught me-though they are only teaching old stuff now so I will wait...
-Ms. Beautifuk- http://www.beautifuk.blogspot.com-/ Refreshing, in-your-face presentations of society's warts. Also the site that got me interested in Blogging. An excellent read in a world of irritating political correctness!
-Frostmourne(Forgot the Leet spelling)- http://www.wwap.blogspot.com/ Another version of the above. Also helped with my formulation of some of my ideas of Christian Science. If you’re interested, check out my discussion with him under the article "Organized Religion is a Crock of Shit".
-Azrul Hisham- http://www.sacrificialketchup.blogspot.com/ a perfect marriage of Romanticism and stylized, professional literary writing. Interesting stuff!
-Supernova- http://mirrorblack.blogspot.com/ –a very well-written blog.

Enjoy them all! And now, back to schoolwork. Manz…

BTW:Apologies to any meber of the Priory of Sion!

Students Of Yishun Junior College, Gather Round Your Alma Mater('s problems)…

2004-11-06T21:18:00.000Z

***Dedicated to the any and all YJCians I have had the pleasure of meeting-namely my lovely CTG119, Melvin, Cindy, Michelle, Cohui etc and my teachers Ms Ong and Mr Jacky Wong, Mr Ngaa, Mr Spencer and Steven Sim and of course Mr Woo. All the best for your future endeavours!!!***

Amidst guzzling all the Mars drinks that I think I have fallen in love with, I've recently started a new hobby of configuring all the Midis I have into some decipherable piano score, or making my current scores more decipherable using a really cool programme I plucked off the net some time ago. Currently on the list for refining or a new tune to learn are:-
-Egao Na Ichban from Akazukin Cha Cha
-Yoru no Uta of Cardcaptor Sakura
-Scarlet of Ayashi no Ceres-thanks to Yumi for the score!
Now all I need is a piano-and even the sub-standard keyboards here are so darn expensive...arrgh.

But anyway, I did say I was going to talk about YJC, right? Well you see I have been reading a few perspectives on the college-and they are mainly negative. I think Ms Beautifuk sums it up pretty well when she spoke of the school's crap image to nullify the positive connotations of it's ranking of 11/16, which can be considered good for a "neighbourhood school".

I bring my YJC handbook to school to use here, and showed it to a few people since they were quite interested in having a look. One particular comment sticks out in my mind about the picture on the top right hand corner of the cover page depicting a group of rugby players furiously attempting to grab the ball another player was holding. Good and fine example of student enthusiasm in sports, except for one small detail-they were grabbing at his legs in their attempt.

Like WHAT were the designers thinking!? No wonder the comment about the picture was something about the players being "batty men"-ie gay. I don't have too much problem with homosexuals, but people grabbing at another guy’s legs!? Chauvinistic assumptions aside what if the player was a girl? The school handbook, which can be said to be representative of the school, has therefore prominently printed a picture that has made their students appear to be lecherous gays.

I certainly don't mean any offence to the people in the picture but what's such a picture doing there then? Why were the students even asked to pose in such a manner? And I doubt anything I've said will give anyone massive enlightenment-it’s obvious the picture is inappropriate to appear on the cover of the handbook. Surely the designers knew such a picture shouldn’t be there! Were they just being fleetingly insensible? Even so, so many other people must have noticed it!

But the point is this-this is just one out of quite a few other examples about the school making a mistake that can fatally damage the school’s reputation in other students' eyes including their own. Even if student behaviour and grades were top-notch and YJC won millions of awards such mistakes will make the school appear extremely "uncool" to be in. And this is something that can damage it even more than a negative official publicity. Look at CJC-so-called place with the highest abortion rate. I know it is not true but even so many had associated the place with such a term. Yet it always seems THE place for graduates to go to. Students will still want to go there because it sounds cool, fun, hip etc. Because you see, many(though not all) teen students have a desire to be "hip, "cool", and "seen". You think they will flock to a place that others see as being a school of lecherous gays? OF COURSE NOT.

Perhaps no wonder so many YJCians are dissatisfied with their school. I saw a perfect example of their coolness obsession once when students were asked to vote for the best costume. The classes who attempted to include symbols regarding academia were immediately dissed. And the winner? A guy wearing a costume that to me looked somewhat odd with its fusions of Spider Man costume, music CDs and Trojan armour. No surprise, then, that Troy and Spider Man 2 were THE blockbusters of that time.

I loved my time in YJC. And it does not deserve this crap. And if you are a YJCian, YOU have the power to change YOUR school. STOP blaming the councilors for not doing their job or anything. If you want to see a change in something, change yourself first-mainly your reaction to the problem. Want to wear ankle socks? Don’t wait for the councilors to do it for you if you think they are slackers! Why not march up to Mr Ganesh's office with a friend or two for reinforcement, bang on its door until he answers and when he does tell him politely that if he does not provide the school with a satisfactory reason for the ban on such socks you will slit his throat. Being pressurized to such extremes I am sure you will not need to commit murder and will either get your wish, involve yourself in a good debate or walk away satisfied with his point of view on the ban. Oh, and by the way, I’m sure you can think of a better threat than slitting his throat.

I seriously sometimes wish I was still in YJC. The teachers had godlike teaching skills, the students were one helluva great bunch and though better facilities exist those present weren't that bad. Not only that, which other JC would let a student study 4 subjects including Biology which he has never touched before and is currently loving? And last but not least, I NEED A PIANO!!! But what has passed has passed. Will look forward to the next time I can go back and see everyone again.

Amritpal Singh Sidhu, you know what you have to do…

Cheating with Money

2004-10-30T17:54:00.000Z

I'd originally planned to talk about YJC or perhaps The Da Vinci Code that I'm currently enjoying immensely, but my current state of mind does not permit me to engage in any form of intellectual discourse right now.

If studying is a game, I know I will win. But I know I will win only because I know have cheated. And as any avid gamer knows, there can be no satisfaction derived from winning by cheating.

No, I didn't smuggle information into a test or anything like that. But to come to a place where the educational standard is at the very least slightly lower counts as much. I'm not belittling London's education system or anything but it has been a proven fact that anyone from Singapore who comes here almost always flies.

Just another of life's little ironies that a really small but totally incomprehensible part of me just feels like rushing back to the land of stress and mugging and insanely high standards. Indeed life is weird.

Perhaps it’s just because some ******* can't wait to spring into some bloody lecture after I tell him about a guy from YJC who gets exempted from the promos because of his outstanding daily work. Look, I know you've worked your damn brains out because it’s something you've implicitly/explicitly told me umpteen times, alright, and my frippin heart BLEEDS for you oh so much because of that. I bloody hell KNOW that the damn school fees here are expensive and how you always talk of how I can become the laughing stock of the "century/double century/triple century" by cheating and losing if I don't work. Without your interference you know I think that that disaster might just be averted but if you're so damn concerned about your cash going to waste why the bloody hell don't you just leave me in Singapore and let me 自生自灭,as the Chinese call it?? Even better just fly off without me and let me earn my own funds. Perhaps I'll work in KFC, then maybe I'll try to uncover undeniable evidence of their cruelty to chickens if any exists? Maybe PETA will pay me good cash for it and I'll give it all to you to free me of that bond? Or if I fail then take your insurance money when I die and sell off all my organs. There are black markets that pay good money for this kind of stuff, you know. Whichever way you look at it, there's money to be made here!!!

Or alternatively if it is an undesirable option/you don't take me seriously/you don't trust me to give you the cash etc, then STOP HOUNDING ME ABOUT IT ALL. Thank you.

Manz, I can't believe I wrote that, but at least I feel calmer now. But well, YJC and The Da Vinci Code is another story for another day.

Back after a long break

2004-10-29T14:25:00.000Z

Free speech is an utopian idea. You will NEVER be able to go and say just ANYTHING you like and have absolute certainty that you will not be attacked for it. But even if you aren’t attacked for it, people among the milling crowd are probably wanting to come out and shout…

"OI! NOBODY GIVES A DAMN LAH!" *Courtesy of beautifuk.blogspot.com*

Every single person whom you meet is a book. A collection of stories, all waiting to be told. All these hidden beneath countless layers of facades. Perhaps another reason why blogs are so popular-for people to tell their stories, for them to be heard, for them to inject meaning into their lives which they supposedly feel are slowly going down the drain. Of course I daresay that these fears are often unfounded. Chain letters all over the place always extol that there will always be someone who loves you. But everyone’s book is wide shut, so how would you know?

Indeed, "lack of something to feel important about is the greatest tragedy a man can have"- a quote taken from one of the YJC Chemistry tutorials. That’s what turns some people into robots-just machines- pleasers, grade-chasers, etc. You name it, I'm sure you'll find a real-life equivalent for it.

Which is sad, because no mater what everyone else says, people are unique. And anyone who doesn't agree obviously hasn’t studied enough Biology to know the number of Chiasmata(Why doesn't MS Word recognize this word!?) combinations that can form during Meiosis. Genetic variation and Biology, lol-2 things that make life infinitely more interesting for us all.

I think I shall start blogging more often. I want to talk about YJC…

On London

2004-10-12T11:41:00.000Z

Another long dearth in entries. Still nothing much to talk about. Lost my dad's handphone, which may be a blessing in disguise since it finally made him replace that antique for a nice camera phone. I shall upload a few images of this place when I have the chance. In the meantime, enjoy the following piece...

There is a substantial number of Londoners who:-
-are Indians, though with a more Malay countenance and with names like Sanhita Sepal and Hemini Patel(Who just walked into the com lab, lol)

-Think that Singapore is part of China. Do you really think with place names like ShanXi and Xiamen, China would have come up with SINGAPORE!?

-Find the fact that ka ni na is a swear word and the concept of Singapore noodles very amusing.

-Have English standards that are probably approximate to the educated Singaporean student. There are also who write sentences on food boxes like "Thank you for your custom please call back again"......!?!?!?

A simple post entered just at the spur of the moment. Don't blame me if it's lame or anything. Cheers!

YAWN...

2004-09-28T11:56:00.000Z

Have you noticed the sudden dearth in entries? Not surprising-there’s nothing to talk about because every single day is like the same darn thing throughout. And without anything else to do this boredom is getting on my nerves. But anyway here’s a little something for everyone who’s going to sit their promos soon…

I’ve discovered that late night London TV is an immensely interesting thing. If you’re unlucky, you might get some sick programme that shows people getting an operation on any and every imaginable part of their body…if you’re not unlucky you get programmes littered with very flowery language… if you’re lucky, though, you may get some very interesting stuff. And when you have no TV guide on your hands you will have a problem-but that’s not the point here.

The thing is according to a professor that has being studying the subject of human intelligence for a very long while, genius is not just about the person’s brain. It’s only when someone’s intellect is able to perfectly harmonize with someone’s passion for the subject is one able to actually achieve that pinnacle of perfection and then be truly worthy of the title…

Which sheds a completely new light on the fact that Einstein used to have below average intelligence, doesn’t it???

"You never fail. All you do is succeed in finding a number of ways that don't work."- Einstein.

Good luck all!!!

ENOUGH Complaining

2004-09-12T15:43:00.000Z

I sometimes like to formulate ideas on psychology. Both true and Alternative Literature is often intricately linked with this discipline. Next year, I might actually take it as an academic subject. But anyway, there is this one hypotheses that I formulated-that the efficiency of the brain often causes us to formulate ideas with such speed that we are hardly aware of them. I shall give a full discussion of my opinions on this one day but this not what I plan to do right now.

What I actually realize is the surprising amount of negativities on my blog. Initially, I didn’t feel so much about them. But after having discussed them rationally both in my brain and on my blog, they are actually presented to me in all their full glory. In this case, because there hardly is any good in them you actually start to feel even worse after blogging. My theory is that because of my abovementioned hypothesis, you are presented with angles that you never saw previously. Sometimes, this causes you to feel better because you are presented with more optimistic angles Here, however, what I kept thinking was increasingly negative stuff…which sucked quite a bit.

Anyway the point is this-ENOUGH complaining. The world is not perfect and everyone complains about how it isn’t, but admirable are those that first complain, then actually seek to DO something about it. I intend to be the latter. And I am going to change.

It’s not just love you know, life is also the little things. Little things like how you are able to enjoy your music, like how you feel the cool breeze in your face on your way to school one fine morning, like how you are able to enjoy even a simple sweet over a good book(even if it’s a textbook! =P), and many more…

Life’s short. So don’t complain. Instead, celebrate what you can! Cheers!!!

How odd…

2004-09-11T20:29:00.000Z

It’s weird you know, this environment I live in. And the fact that I am a weird person makes it all the weirder.

First, I am expected to complete my A-level courses in a year. That’s possible actually since I’ve studied some stuff in YJ. But next I am expected to become a doctor instead of doing Biomedical Research. And now I am suddenly reacting at the weirdest things-like for example how yesterday was just another day.

So I am expected to work, work, work…Then all of a sudden I find myself liking my work, and then know a bit more than usual. Then all of a sudden I work n the computer but because of my weird actions that becomes a damn issue. And then all of a sudden the whole place has exploded right in front of my face.

The problem is that changes are expected of me and when I suddenly change for the better they don’t expect me to change ever again. When I suddenly started working, so there. Life goes on. Hah.

Then suddenly I slack for a while, since I didn’t learn properly without sense or direction. Change disturbs people, so they try to get me back. I’m not working, they want me to work. Good and fine.

But so what if I do change back? So what if I am working? So I’m working. Like that lor. And if I don’t or if I change back for a short while, ohh the pain is too much to bear…

I started cooking spaghetti. Yay, this is very nice stuff! But then one day I was engrossed in reading something on the net. And besides I thought they’d be sick of it by then, so I don’t cook. And then all of a sudden, we’ve not enough to eat!!! Where’s the spaghetti that he usually cooks!? Ha ha ha.

I am getting to be an extremely weird person. I am fussing over things like how my birthday was another ordinary day-which is childish to say the least. If I’m not careful, I think I will revert back to my secondary school self. Manz.

There are disadvantages in taking English Literature. Oversensitivity is one of them.

Working for A-level qualifications in slacking and crapping

2004-09-08T20:57:00.000Z

School has started-a break in the monotony of slacking, I surmised, would be an excellent birthday present. I’d started school at this place called Brampton College. Be taking Chem, Bio, Maths (to finish in 1 year) and English Lit. Same stuff as usual. And compared to YJ, this place is also real small-and REAL far. 90 min bus ride and more if it’s peak hour, which it usually is when I take it. Thing is, we will be starting with things that we’ve studied. This is all very will if and ONLY if you had things to do. I am in a place where McDonalds meals can hit S$12 and where the streets are lined with nothing but boring stores, half of which resemble those you find at the HDB void deck. And I am in a house with no piano, a computer with vastly limited 56K internet access, a computer with an annoying mouse and WORST of all, a Playstation 2, a bundle of games, a TV but absolutely NO place to connect the PS2 to the TV!!! Manz.

So will someone please think of the exponentially-increasing rate of the anthropy of my brain cells and get ON with it before I get permanently stuck talking senseless jargon which, in terms of information uptake by my almost stagnant brain, has become a pseudo-zero order reaction due to denaturation of enzymes in the grey and white matter due to incessant inactivity which has led to a drying-up of the water in it and thus messed up the hydrophobic interactions of every single enzyme in my body inclusive but not exhaustive of those in my Islets of Langerhans, Capillaries, Axons Dendrons, Neurones, cellulose and Graafian Follicles (=X)- thus causing non-competitive and consequently permanent and irreversible inhibition which has therefore totally messed up their quaternary structures!!!

Wow. That was a very long sentence indeed. Pieced it together using bits of Bio crap. But enough crapping because it has also jumbles the order of my DNA’s – oh nevermind.

It would be nice to have stayed in Singapore, I would think at first. But if I did, I’d probably be complaining about how much I’d have to do and fill the entire blog entry with jargon, since that’s all my brain would be processing right now.

Oh well, all I suppose have to do is wait.

Damn

2004-09-05T20:49:00.000Z

Arrgh…Bloody hell. I wish I could apologize for the swearing. But damn it, after you have spent at least a whole hour typing a blog entry and suddenly your text disappears into thin air just like that, you seriously cannot help it. Really all you can do to stop yourself from tearing up everything in sight. Let this therefore be a warning to all of those with short fuses-do NOT get an expensive keyboard!!!

I was writing about a dream I had last night. Was at Junction 8, met some Catholic High friends, talked with Shaun (Hehehe….go figure which one of the 3) about Lit and had an extremely surreal encounter with Alex Eng and Teo Zi Cheng. I cannot be bothered to elaborate-firstly because as I said I was writing about it just minutes ago and secondly because I am feeling extremely pissed at myself.

“Anger is a thief that steals away the nice moments”. The following is a quote that I encountered in Reader’s Digest a long time ago, proposed to my mum to send it in to a newspaper named Adpost and subsequently did so under her name, then winning a little prize for it. Not surprising, because it’s freaking true.

There is a major flaw with some of the people whom I currently most commonly associate with-their inherent pride, their stubborn refusal to admit they are wrong, and their inability to relate to others. Not flaws I claim ownership of. No- my biggest(among others) is my extremely short fuse. (But really Zhiyi I am surprised that you said I have a good temper!) It doesn’t catch fire easily, but disappearing text makes it extremely combustible material. And resultant explosions can consist of a very wide variety of unwanted side-effects. Try imagining what might happen if a ton of explosives goes boom right next to several barrels of flammable alcohol and you’d probably have a good idea of what just happened.

Apparently sparks still fly out from the burning fluid. I am pissed because I provided the flame. Alcohol does not catch fire by itself. And I am not interested in a display of fireworks right now. I want to put it out, but I do believe they will not listen, for they forever doubt my intentions. In which case time will do its work, for in time the fuel will run out. But right now-dash it all. It is not a good combination of substances to leave together, alcohol and explosives. But whatever the case, I must prevent myself from catching fire again. And at the same time, make sure that the alcohol does not set each other alight.

But thank you for reading, whoever you are. I feel much better now. Oh wells, I suppose life goes on. Till I blog again, see you!

Blogging

2004-09-05T20:48:00.000Z

Halloz! I’m Marcus Tan, ex-student of Ai Tong Pri, Catholic High Sec, MI Toh Tuck and Yishun JC, currently a student of Brampton College. Welcome to my blog! I hope you will enjoy playing with the “Offspring of my Brain” or as I prefer to call them, my baby brains. I do hope the naughty buggers behave in my absence…